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Top Five.....Biscuits

Are you Garibaldi, lemon puff or something else? Henry Priestman reveals which ones are his cup of tea in a new series of Top Five ... Anything

Published on June 30th 2010.


Top Five.....Biscuits

HENRY Priestman, singer, songwriter and record producer, is a veteran of the Liverpool music scene, being a former member of such illustrious bands as The Yachts, It's Immaterial and The Christians.

After years on the other side of the studio window, producing Mark Owen's 2003 hit Four Minute Warning, for example, he became a surprise pop sensation in his own right last year.

One appearance on BBC Breakfast led to his single, Don’t You Love Me No More, going straight to number one on the Amazon chart. Henry's debut solo CD, The Chronicles of Modern Life, is currently out on Island Records – and there's a follow-up album due in early 2011.

But forget all that, here he talks biscuits.


I'D DONE my “Top five pies” for another publication, so when they said “pick yer favourite top five biscuits”, I thought it’d be a doddle.

Jaffa-Cakes_1621553C
Hmmm, not as simple as I’d initially imagined, not least the thorny question of whether Jaffa Cakes are biscuits or cakes... Under UK law, no VAT is charged on biscuits and cakes — they are "zero rated".

Chocolate covered biscuits, however, are subject to VAT......I then discovered that McVitie's were taken to court in 1991 by HM Customs and Excise, but eventually our favourite biscuit manufacturers won the case. They argued that a distinction between cakes and biscuits is, among other things, that biscuits would normally be expected to go soft when stale, whereas cakes would normally be expected to go hard. It was demonstrated to the Tribunal that Jaffa Cakes become hard when stale.

So reluctantly, I have to withdraw my favourite, Jaffa Cake, from the list...here goes – in reverse order.

Bahlsen-Choco-Leibniz-2

Cup_Of_Tea_And_Bourbon_Biscuit

5: Choco Leibniz... if I’m honest, I don’t believe I’ve actually ever bought a packet of these wonderful biscuits – I’m too much of a cheapskate, and you only seem to get about eight biscuits in a packet (what’s that all about??!). But they’re the sort of biccy that people who come for the weekend give you...come again any time!

4: Bourbon...would have been higher up the list had I not o/d’ed on them recently...always a joy to find them as the complimentary biscuit that the chambermaids have left in your Travelodge room.

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3: Penguin... Is there NOT a difference in taste depending on the colour of wrapper?...I prefer the yellow ones actually.

Gingernut17_1367618I
*JOINT WINNER*: McVitie's Chocolate Digestive...in this case, it probably has to be “MacVee”... either Milk or Plain, I flit between the two.

*JOINT WINNER*: Ginger Nut...no need to splash out on McVitie's, most “own brand” makes are good with the exception of one brand, but too scared to say in case of legal action....clue: Laid (anag.)

Next time: Another person's top five of something. We think we know who, but we don't know what...

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25 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Queeny EyeJune 29th 2010.

Garlic crackers from The Asda are my savoury titbit. Have you noticed how only in Liverpool people call it THE Asda and not just Asda. It's like calling the band Queen, The Queen. I mustn't forget a jam ring either.

Reverend Ian PaisleyJune 29th 2010.

There's nothing better to my mind than an Orange Club, so there isn't

Professor ChocleBiccyJune 29th 2010.

Who remembers the "luxurious" Rondello Biscuits? Great binlids with a sort of sickly malted honey flavour. Expensive at the time, and you only got about 8 in a pack. The texture of a large patch of scrofula. Beacuse of the size of them, you couldn't dunk them, not unless you drank tea from a bucket, and besides, they would imediately disintergrate leaving a bucket of sludge (always a dunking danger but a dead cert with a Rondello) I don't know what the origin of the name Rondello was, perhaps named after the inventor, whoever that was. Maybe a Mr B. Squit.

1 Response: Reply To This...
Veda BurrowsMay 3rd 2011.

I've always wondered why they stopped making Rondello because they were absolutely delicious-my favourite buscuit of all time.

Veda Burrows

Barry Snak (cad)June 29th 2010.

Anyway isn't Leibnitz German for pubic lice? Need to watch where you dunk. And don't mention gypsy cream to our Mildred. Hold on to it tight he said as the Waltzer started to spin.

KingiedevilJune 29th 2010.

Yes, Queeny, but get with the times; there IS no and, and no and is necessary. And that's an end to the matter. And another thing, it's got to be all butter shortbread every time

AnonymousJune 29th 2010.

Is that like Ganja nuts? I prefer a Terry's Waifa personally to a Penguin biscuit.

Queeny EyeJune 29th 2010.

Because it used to be called Home and Bargain, Phil. But I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Phil McCrackenJune 29th 2010.

Anyone remember those odd sugary, shocking pink wafers? Did anyone actually like them?

Gaz ChambersJune 29th 2010.

I thought the references to Belsen were in bad taste.

Recovering alcoholicJune 29th 2010.

I don't particularly enjoy the amaretto biscuit you get at the end of Italian restaurant meals. However, if you try soaking them in whatever dregs of red wine you have at the bottom of your glass, it gets you there

Man in Shed DoorwayJune 29th 2010.

THIS WEEK..I 'AAAVE BEEN MOSTLY EATING.....GIN-JA-NUTZ....

Malted MilkJune 29th 2010.

Jamie Dodger is winning the rants so far

Tricky WooJune 29th 2010.

No, not unless you dip it in scalding hot tea

Jamie DodgerJune 29th 2010.

Morning Coffee. The most boring biscuit in the world. And because the biscuit part Choco Liebniz always reminded me of Morning Coffee I had never tried them. But, the real thing that put me off was that due to the lettering on the packet, for years I genuinely believed it said "Belsen" and couldn't believe anyone would market anything, let alone a biscuit with that place name. When I did get offered one and said what f-ing Belsen Biscuits? My error was pointed out with great delight and aspertions about my IQ. So i had one and thought they were rather good!

Phil McCrackenJune 29th 2010.

Its like how we refer to Home Bargains as Home AND Bargain for some reason.

DigJune 29th 2010.

Anybody fancy a bite of my Hob Nob?

King BiscuitJune 29th 2010.

I prefer a small triangle

Phil McCrackenJune 29th 2010.

If we can't have the Jaffa CAKE then it has to be the chocolate digestive. Never really convinced by that young pretender the Hobnob. Doesn't cut it for me.

Duncan RichteaJune 29th 2010.

I had some vanilla cream Rich Tea Fingers last night. They were divine.

Phil McCrackenJune 29th 2010.

I don't get the obsession with Jammy Dodgers - overrated in my book. Too sweet and with 'jam' that is more like sweet tar. If you want a biscuit, cream and preserve confection the much missed (by me) Honey Creams were vastly superior.

Going through the motionsJune 29th 2010.

There should have been a fig roll in here.

Nic EbiscuitsJune 29th 2010.

Does anyone remember 'sports biscuits'? They were sold both in packets and loose in a paper bag from grocers.They were plain biscuits similar to Nice biscuits on one side and on the other they were covered with smooth and shiny brilliantly-coloured icing in yellow, pink, lilac, red, etc. with the outline of a figure representing a sport piped into the centre. They were rock hard but they seduced children by sheer, vibrant spectacle.

Phil McCrackenJune 29th 2010.

Crumbs..

Betty CoattailsJune 29th 2010.

There's nothing to beat an all-butter shortbread!

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