TV Pick: My Big Fat Scouse Wedding

TV HIGHLIGHTS: CHANNEL 4
9.00: My Big Fat Scouse Wedding
The whole caravan site is still waiting to see if Phil and Dave’s on-off romance can be rekindled after Phil caused so much damage in last week's episode by performing U-turns in his 40-ft fairground bandwagon while under the influence.

After being “grabbed” by his Uncle Joe, the head of the site, Phil got Scouse wedding nerves and told the hushed gathering that he'd only gone along with Dave's proposal “because I thought it would be a good way of getting things going”.

But this week finds Phil back in his plush mock Tudor caravan, reunited with Dave and causing new uproar by declaring there is something wrong with his uncle and the rest of the family for not giving the big society wedding their blessing.

“It’s time we did a blood test,” he confides. “They simply cannot have the opportunistic Big Fat Scouse gene that I have.”

Meanwhile, as the love-birds and chief bridesmaid Nick struggle to find the right cliches to wear for the big day, it emerges that too many sound-bites have been ordered.

Nobody can afford a wedding cake but Phil is certain “if we all just pull together one will magically appear...”

10.00: Tonight With Trevor McJordache
Another live investigation with the under-the-patio team.