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Not strictly confidential (08/09/10)

Hand of God at Walker; Lennon image haunts chippy; two taxi-Lib Dem fights and more

Published on October 11th 2010.


Not strictly confidential (08/09/10)

Good enough for God
It's hardly Michelangelo's Creation of Adam, and this is no Sistine Chapel, but it'll have to do.

The award for drumming up ongoing media interest in something a few weeks old - namely the John Moores Exhibition – goes to the Walker Art Gallery.

A 350-year-old painting of the baby Jesus is at the centre of a "bizarre" optical illusion, they claim.

The blurb says: “Surprised visitors say they have seen the reflection of a hand pointing directly at the Messiah in Mattia Preti’s 1660 work The Adoration of the Shepherds. The painting depicts onlookers surrounding the holy child.”

Look at the picture, and...all together now: “Oooohhhh yehh...!”

We are told: “The strange phenomenon occurred when the John Moores Painting Prize exhibition opened last month. One of the works, THERE YOU ARE! by Cornelia Baltes, features a large hand painted onto the walls of the Walker.

“By some complete fluke,” it goes on, “this painted hand seems to have reflected through glass doors and onto the Preti painting – even though it’s in a completely different gallery.”

Reyahn King, Director of Art Galleries, observes: “This is an uncanny thing...the hand seems to point at the baby Jesus. Everyone is quite mystified.”

Us included: For rather than point at the baby Jesus, we think that the finger in this Monty Pythonesque photo, appears to be about to scratch the backside of, hmmm, the infant's holy mother.

All together again: "He's not the Messiah..."

(And yeh, yeh, we accept that we are now going to Hell...)

Picture yourself in a pan in a chippy....
Speaking of eerie pictures: This year is John Lennon year in Liverpool – even more so than usual – the 70th anniversary of his birth, the 30th anniversary if his death. It all kicks off this weekend.

Every nuance of Lennon's life has been documented - but did the posh middle-class boy from Menlove Avenue ever hang out in Kenny?

Maybe not in life, but oh yes, from beyond the grave. Eagle-eyed Kensington community activist Steve Farragher snapped this picture of Lennon's face in a pan of mushy peas in a chip shop on Prescot Road.

“I was shocked,” the KVFM man told us.

Lennon's stark message from the afterlife is obvious: “All we are saying, is give peas a chance.”

Six to one...
And news that a Lib Dem minister has launched an inquiry into the employment of foreign cab drivers after he was caught up in ‘taxi wars’ at his Liverpool party conference.

Norman Baker, the, er, Transport Minister, was left seething and starving during the ACC gathering after he hailed a black cab from the Wapping area and asked the driver to take him to “a smart restaurant on top of the tallest building in the city”.

Despite the Panoramic, the UK’s highest restaurant, being just 1,200 yards away, the non-English-speaking driver apparently drove around in circles for nearly half an hour.

Eventually Mr Baker stormed out of the taxi and refused to pay. But when he flagged down a second cab and tried to get in, another driver – who thought he was next in line – pulled in front to stop it driving off.

The irate driver refused to move until the Minister reluctantly agreed to climb into his vehicle. You know what it's like.

‘It became obvious that the driver had a limited grasp of English when I said the tower was 34 storeys high, only to be taken to a two-storey building,’ he said.

How very Spinal Tap.

(Entire city nods sagely as the one-way system claims another unsuspecting tenner on the clock).

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6 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

duh!October 7th 2010.

It's one R in the middle and one at the end, plus Lennon as part of the Quarrymen recorded their first platter in Percy Phillips' recording studio further down in Kensington, so yes he was here!

The Visionary ToperOctober 7th 2010.

That looks more like Bernard Hill.

I had a perfect likeness of Max Bygraves in some spilt Guinness last week.

Tranny and SusannahOctober 10th 2010.

That looks more like Vlad The Impaler.
The wacky ruler from Transylvania who would invite everyone round for a dinner party and if anyone turned up he'd order them all to be impaled on a long wooden spike, left them all hanging there, so he did. It started off as a joke when two blokes called Mr Cheese and Mr Pineapple complained about the prawn cocktail starter but it got quickly out of hand and he was doing it to everybody. No wonder he ended up on his own at New Year. Serves him right.

DaktariOctober 13th 2010.

I believe he was fast and hard to catch, that Vlad the Impala...

Aaar eh VladOctober 13th 2010.

@Tranny and Susannah, it sounds like an everyday story of Kenny Fields folk!

Aaar Eh Soft VladOctober 13th 2010.

Not very bright though...

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