Not Strictly Confidential (28/01/11)

A HUGE exhibition of erotic art opens at The Gallery in Stanhope Street next week.

“We are proud to be working together with The Association of Erotic Artists” says the party invitation, prompting guffaws all round with the addendum: "UK and international members" will be on show.

Len Gifford (former star of TV's Sexcetera) will exhibit a bondage sculpture as well as doing a live casting of breasts on a model during the show, and there's all sorts of prancing and cavorting from scantily clad ladies.

Unfortunately, for a few more, this unmissable night could prove something of a flop. For why? Liverpool's first male pole dancer was meant to appear. But he's done his back in.

“There had better be something laid on for me,” the Gallery has already been darkly warned by one former soap star who is no stranger to an opening party in the parish.

So if you are a male pole dancer and fancy doing a turn, call Fiona on 0151 709 2442. Oh, and remember to keep tight hold of your Cracker.

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SPEAKING of a bit of strange, Strictly was chatting to the not-remotely-strange neighbours this morning on the doorstep in sunny Colquitt Street, the ones who work in adult store Nice N Naughty.

Daniel Yates, the manager (pictured) tells us the one thing this job has taught him is that everyone is the same – a bit kinky, and that's OK.

“We get all sorts in here,” he told Strictly as he handed over a big bag of vibrators for a competition next week. “Lonely homeless people; rich people; people who think they are a bit odd because they like a bit of spanking; people who tell you their emotional problems.”

He continued: “People who come in asking 'do you get a lot of weirdos in here?' because they think they are the weird one; policemen....”

We didn't do any helmet gags. The Nice n Naughty staff are the kings of the double entendre as we discovered when we regrettably told them we thought the vibrator competition would get lots of entries.

A staff member informed Strictly that they had never come across our office.

"Nor me," our operative replied - and the chat all went downhill from there really.

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GREAT excitement last week as Liverpool finally got to set out its stall in London with the opening of a new Embassy.

Strictly hears that Downtown Liverpool Chairman Frank McKenna arrived fashionably late for the bash, and wearing shades. Very Jackie O.

Sources, or should that be sauces, cheekily suggested that it may have been down to some over-toasting at Commons reception the night before.

And who wouldn't need a drink after the treatment meted out to the sharp suited one on the train down to The Smoke?

According to reports elsewhere, Frank rankled the moods of passengers in the quiet zone, by loudly chatting into his mobile, reminiscent of that old Trigger Happy TV sketch - "I'M ON THE TRAIN!".

He and a colleague were taken to task by fellow travellers. Or should that be tsk, tsk?