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WE’VE seen the film with John Cusack and are vaguely aware of something about prophesies. But hogwash or revelation – what are the theories about 2012?
To get an extent of the popularity of 2012 theories you only need to tap into Google and see the mind blowing amount of pages written on the subject. You could literally spend years sifting through all the content – until one day when you would find yourself up in a draughty cabin, somewhere on a mountain in Central America, eating ants and muttering to yourself as you read books on Lee Harvey Oswald.
‘After a great misery for mankind, an even greater approaches. The great cycle of the centuries renewed, it will rain blood, milk, famine, war, disease. In the sky will be seen a great fire dragging a trail of sparks.’
Most of the 2012 theories are loosely based on interpretations of ancient Mayan texts. 21 Dec 2012 is thought to be a significant day as some say it marks the end of a long cycle (5,000 plus years) of the Mayan calendar. Mayan texts have pointed that something huge will happen in 2012, but what?
Your time is up, please vacate the planet
One theory according to Mayan mythology is that there are five stages of humanity. Essentially they believed that the gods created humans and every now and then rub them out because they are rubbish and then create an improved version. Well, we are currently in the fourth stage but 2012 will be the fifth and final stage. It means our time is up and cue for the next lot to get their tracksuits off and starting warming up. But how will this happen?
Wipe Out
Apparently it’s all to do with galactic realignments and stuff which trigger all kinds of cataclysmic events which could include massive pole shifts, exploding volcanoes, rip roaring earthquakes and colossal tsunamis. Oh yeah, and the Sun is expected to shoot out enormous solar flares just for good measure. In the book of revelations, this is known as seven days of darkness, where the entire planet’s power grid is completely wiped off – so your internet might be on the frizz for a bit.
Or maybe not…
The higher consciousness, positive theoryGreat Balls of Fire
OK, so Nostradamus did speculate more wildly than a coked-up Wall Street banker but being a prophet ain’t easy especially predicting stuff 1,500 years in the future, so let’s cut him some slack.
To quote Nostradamus, ‘After a great misery for mankind, an even greater approaches. The great cycle of the centuries renewed, it will rain blood, milk, famine, war, disease. In the sky will be seen a great fire dragging a trail of sparks.’
The ‘great cycle of the centuries’ bit has been equated to the Mayan end of an era date. ‘In the sky will be seen a great fire dragging a trail of sparks’ has given weight to possible theories of a meteor or nuclear missile coming this way. Yeah Nostradamus was pretty gloomy in his predictions, a little like George Osborne.
Before you start blowing your life savings or copulating with anything with a pulse it should be said that most scientists and Mayan experts confidently believe that 2012 will mean nothing more than the end to 2012 theories.
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I don't really want the Mayan prophesy to come true, but their calendar of the moon (which is worked out using beans) is only a handful of minutes out using the same system they used six thousand years ago - almost as accurate as atomic clocks.
I predict Gordo will get carried away and declare a new manchester restaurant to be a contender for a michelin star.
Yeah, I would agree Anon.
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