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Who will top the Christmas charts?

Forget Joe McElderry. Forget Rage Against the Machine. It's all about Half Man Half Biscuit

Published on December 16th 2009.


Who will top the Christmas charts?

A CAMPAIGN is afoot to get a little known song by Half Man Half Biscuit to the Number TWO position in the chart.

It follows the huge internet drive to get Rage Against The Machine's 1992 hit, 'Killing In The Name', to the Christmas Number One position, subverting X Factor winner Joe McElderry's bid with The Climb.

Simon Cowell has branded the Rage campaign stupid and cynical. Cue for a song! Cue for a crusade!

Facebook users are being urged to download It's Cliched To Be Cynical At Christmas, a 2007 track from Birkenhead's finest export, with a video shot around Liverpool.

Scottish chef Hamish Adams is spearheading the move and tells Liverpool Confidential that people in their droves have already purchased the 79p song from iTunes.

“There's nothing festive about Killing In The Name, Cowell is right. It's cynical. I'm a massive Half Man Half Biscuit fan, even though I've never met them. The title of the song is the perfect sentiment for all of this.

“It's Christmas. Let's have a festive song up near the top of the charts for a change. Mind you, just in the charts would be a win.”

More than 17m people stretched the National Grid on Sunday to watch Simon Cowell, self-styled Mr Christmas of pop, rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of another big Christmas sack of lucre as his record label nabs the winner.

In recent years, an X Factor winner at the top of the Christmas chart is as much a dead cert as the Queen's speech.

But bookies William Hill have gone from a bit nervous to all bets off after the 723,000-strong Rage... Facebook group got its act together to wipe the smile off Simon's LA- tanned face. Odds against

RATM topping the chart in Christmas week rose from 100-1 to 10/3.

Geoff Davis, supremo of Half Man Half Biscuit's Liverpool record label, Probe Plus, was pleasantly surprised to hear about the 550-strong Facebook group “FUCK RATM LET'S GET HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT TO XMAS NUMBER TWO”, formed by Mr Adams.

“It's one of the band's most sincere songs,” he says. “It was never released as a single, so I'm not sure if it could still technically count.”

The song, from the album Trouble Over Bridgewater, also includes classic titles from John Peel's favourites like The Ballad of Climie Fisher, Bottleneck at Capel Curig and 24 Hour Garage People.

“Says Geoff: “I took copies of the song into all the local radio stations at Christmas in 2007, thinking 'how can they resist this?' But they clearly could because it never got any airplay!

"If it gets there I will believe in Father Christmas. I might even get round to God."

Confidential thinks it's well worth 79p or 69p at these links, whether it does anything or not. So get your plastic out now for a little Christmas miracle! You never know, do you?Get it from itunes
or for 10p cheaper from Tune Tribe.

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16 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Joy Division oven glovesDecember 14th 2009.

What a good idea

AnonymousDecember 14th 2009.

It is very easy to be cynical at Christmas and get very rich. Simon Cowell is the proof of the Christmas pudding. I have bought mine!

Secret SquirrelDecember 14th 2009.

What about 'time flies by when your the driver of a train' that would be a nice Half man half biscuit festive number1!

John Kettley (is a Weatherman)December 14th 2009.

What a splendid idea! Where can I buy this record?

Dickie Davies EyesDecember 14th 2009.

From the above links

Len GanleyDecember 14th 2009.

The golf links? Or the cuff links? My local record shop has gone. Is Probe still going?

CSI AmblesideDecember 14th 2009.

Does somebody switch your computer on for you in the morning.?

DigDecember 14th 2009.

Rage Against The Machine would be a brilliant Christmas number one. The best since 1981. Next year we should start a campaign to get 'Bullet In The Head' by RATM to Xmas number one.

Non-voterDecember 14th 2009.

Dig, it's cliched to be cynical at Christmas.

CurmudgeonDecember 14th 2009.

"Simon Cowell has branded the Rage campaign stupid and cynical" & he should know - the arse factor or britains got no talent or whatever vacuous drivel theirhrowing out on TV for the hard of thinking is cruel cynical manipulation of the stupid idiots watching. Cynical expolitation of them by Cowell & his ilk, who sign up, take their 50% & issue pap from the "talented" sub-karaoke winners. cmon 4 gods sake, scatting on light my fire!Had the misfortune to see the first 2 songs in the final & nearly wet myself laughing - variety has never been so poor, it was reminiscent of the 70's woeful Seaside Special, which punk rock was to sweep away.Anyways 4 lads who shook the Wirral deserve their due

DigDecember 14th 2009.

I'm not being cynical. I'm just a fan of RATM.

Non voterDecember 14th 2009.

The RATM bid is very cynical. As cynical as Simon Cowell's because it's not a Christmas song. And Curmudgeon has a very good point.

DigDecember 14th 2009.

The campaign maybe cynical. I'm not talking about the campaign tho. I'm merely saying, in my opinion, it'll be the best number one since 1981 and Pink Floyd. Christmas number ones are usually cheesey rubbish. I'm talking about the quality of the song and not the campaign behind it. That doesn't interest me at all. I haven't took notice of the charts since I grew up and stopped listening to cheesey rubbish.

32zzzedDecember 14th 2009.

LOVE THIS SONG! BUY BUY BUY!

Summer of HateDecember 14th 2009.

Pink Floyd was/is geriatric crap, Dig! On the pub article you claim to represent the yoof!

('k me it's) Fred TitmusDecember 14th 2009.

Definitely worthwhile. Let's have this no.1 for some Xmas (any Xmas really)

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