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The Laz Word: Liverpool’s Official Town Crier

Larry Neild asks if Liverpool’s noisy dozen have plenty to cry about…

Written by . Published on August 30th 2011.

The Laz Word: Liverpool’s Official Town Crier

TWELVE people are to take part in Liverpool's answer to the X Factor... the C Factor.  The dozen hopefuls will gather at the city's Exchange Flags towards the end of September to cry in public for work.

It'll be a nice little earner for somebody possessing a rather loud gob, earning £70 plus expenses every time he, or she, is required to raise a welcoming cry.

They will have to demonstrate the power of their lungs and vocal chords to win the job of Liverpool's official town crier.

It'll be a nice little earner for somebody possessing a rather loud gob, earning £70 plus expenses every time he, or she, is required to raise a welcoming cry.

The city council posted the job on its website, saying those shortlisted will take part in a live ‘X Factor style’ audition outside Liverpool Town Hall.

The city council’s tourism team says the town crier will play a role in key civic and ceremonial functions, welcome international passengers at the Cruise Liner Terminal and be an ambassador during high profile events.

The post has been vacant for more than 200 years, probably on the basis the city has had little to cry about in recent decades – until now that is.

So here are the things would-be applicants will have to demonstrate at their public interviews before a panel of three or four.

- Good local knowledge of Liverpool and what it can offer to tourists.

- A fine voice with good volume.

- Previous experience – whether they’re already a town crier, or perhaps they’ve been a master of ceremonies.

- Outstanding communication skills.

- A great sense of humour and outgoing personality. I reckon in a city crowded with something to shout about, coupled with high unemployment, there would have been an avalanche of applicants.

Trouble is, applicants have to have their own town crier outfits.

How many loud-mouthed Scousers have a town crier’s outfit in their wardrobe, just in case such a job ever comes along?

This is suit-ism at its very worse. Imagine heading to Jobcentre Plus and asking for a bit of a grant to buy some work clobber – garters, tights, bright red jacket, funny hat. On yer bike, they’d no doubt scream (making them instantly eligible for the vacance).

Oh and the town crier must be flexible as events may take place in the evening or at weekends.

Liverpool’s Lord Mayor, Councillor Frank Prendergast (his ceremonial robes are provided by the council) said: “This is a fantastic role and we’re looking for someone who’s enthusiastic and passionate about this great city to be able to sell it to everyone they meet.

“In my role as Lord Mayor I’m always attending various functions and people I meet, particularly those who aren’t from Liverpool, are keen to know more about the city – so it’s wonderful that there’ll be another ambassador spreading the message about everything we have to offer to visitors and residents.

“I look forward to taking on the 'Simon Cowell' role during the test cry.”

The new town crier could be making his or her debut within a month. Maybe when spending-cuts demonstations are staged outside the town hall, the new crier can be hired to shout from the roof tops … “Calm down, calm down!” 

With so many police jobs threatened it may be the only way of keeping order.

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7 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Fred O'brienAugust 30th 2011.

Can't wait to see who the appropriate council bods will find
acceptable.Its record for making good appointments is pretty ropey;it's more than my life's worth to elaborate on
names.Let's not forget that it's only a few years since our
so-call'cultural ambassador'[mercifully only briefly]was a
so-so actrees forever associated with a rival city.This came
about because 2'city fathers'were avid Corrie fans!.This can
only be compared to having,say,Billy Connolly as cultural
ambassador for Bristol.One of these Wise Men was our
present'first citizen'.But let's hope for the best eh[?]

Fred O'brienAugust 30th 2011.

...and talking about cruise boats and ferry terminals reminds me that my mate Frank,who's lived in western
Canada and the US told me that no cruise boat arrives @
even a small cruise terminal or stopover point without the
presence of a brass or other band playing.Imagine what a
camel's breakfast would be made of attempting that here!

Fred O'brienAugust 30th 2011.

There's more where that came from but my 3 brain cells
need a rest now.

Absinthe & TurksAugust 31st 2011.

Julie Goodyear was far less embarrassing for Liverpool than Lord Scousewedding of Redmond, Mike 'Horror' Storey or his absentee appointee Robbing Archer!

Is there no chance we could have her bacK?

Absinthe & TurksAugust 31st 2011.

Brass bands are probably banned by Liverpool City Council for being "militaristic", like Fire Service parades.

They'd have to put up with one of those awful bands of Beatles impersonators. I'd never get off the boat if that was my welcome.

AnonymousSeptember 1st 2011.

You can't buy these outfits off the peg. They would have to be tailor made and probably cost thousands.

A toastmaster's red tailcoat alone costs £1,500; you'd probably need£ 8-10,000 to cover the cost of everything.

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