The Laz Word: Liverpool’s Official Town Crier

TWELVE people are to take part in Liverpool's answer to the X Factor... the C Factor.  The dozen hopefuls will gather at the city's Exchange Flags towards the end of September to cry in public for work.

It'll be a nice little earner for somebody possessing a rather loud gob, earning £70 plus expenses every time he, or she, is required to raise a welcoming cry.

They will have to demonstrate the power of their lungs and vocal chords to win the job of Liverpool's official town crier.

It'll be a nice little earner for somebody possessing a rather loud gob, earning £70 plus expenses every time he, or she, is required to raise a welcoming cry.

The city council posted the job on its website, saying those shortlisted will take part in a live ‘X Factor style’ audition outside Liverpool Town Hall.

The city council’s tourism team says the town crier will play a role in key civic and ceremonial functions, welcome international passengers at the Cruise Liner Terminal and be an ambassador during high profile events.

The post has been vacant for more than 200 years, probably on the basis the city has had little to cry about in recent decades – until now that is.

So here are the things would-be applicants will have to demonstrate at their public interviews before a panel of three or four.

- Good local knowledge of Liverpool and what it can offer to tourists.

- A fine voice with good volume.

- Previous experience – whether they’re already a town crier, or perhaps they’ve been a master of ceremonies.

- Outstanding communication skills.

- A great sense of humour and outgoing personality. I reckon in a city crowded with something to shout about, coupled with high unemployment, there would have been an avalanche of applicants.

Trouble is, applicants have to have their own town crier outfits.

How many loud-mouthed Scousers have a town crier’s outfit in their wardrobe, just in case such a job ever comes along?

This is suit-ism at its very worse. Imagine heading to Jobcentre Plus and asking for a bit of a grant to buy some work clobber – garters, tights, bright red jacket, funny hat. On yer bike, they’d no doubt scream (making them instantly eligible for the vacance).

Oh and the town crier must be flexible as events may take place in the evening or at weekends.

Liverpool’s Lord Mayor, Councillor Frank Prendergast (his ceremonial robes are provided by the council) said: “This is a fantastic role and we’re looking for someone who’s enthusiastic and passionate about this great city to be able to sell it to everyone they meet.

“In my role as Lord Mayor I’m always attending various functions and people I meet, particularly those who aren’t from Liverpool, are keen to know more about the city – so it’s wonderful that there’ll be another ambassador spreading the message about everything we have to offer to visitors and residents.

“I look forward to taking on the 'Simon Cowell' role during the test cry.”

The new town crier could be making his or her debut within a month. Maybe when spending-cuts demonstations are staged outside the town hall, the new crier can be hired to shout from the roof tops … “Calm down, calm down!” 

With so many police jobs threatened it may be the only way of keeping order.