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Snoods and Barry on the M6

Everton, City, Liverpool and t’other one in Red

Published on March 7th 2011.


Snoods and Barry on the M6

IN A WORLD where endless streams of confused logic and downright oddness continue to swell and burst their banks every now and again, one body continues to lead the way.

That Suarez looks like a player though. Fernando who? Indeed Suarez’s jinking slalom through the defence for the first goal was a wonder to behold.

FIFA decided to ban snoods over the weekend, saying they were ‘dangerous’; this from an organisation that doesn’t seem to mind flares being set off in various European grounds most weekends.

Apart from the possible exception of Blackpool, snoods have been the big story in the Premiership this year. Players embraced them almost as much as the various clubs’ merchandising departments, as they all tried to convince us of the importance of having a warm neck.

I thought scarves already covered that particular niche, but there you go.

The ban is yet another piece of progressive thinking from FIFA, an organisation which still refuses to introduce goal-line technology, even though it would be relatively simple, and would, more importantly, stop ‘Barry on the M6’ et al from feeling as if they have to ring a national radio station at 5pm on a Saturday to bore the arse off everyone.

FIFA also cracks down hard on properly serious stuff, like racism, where it dishes out fines of up to £3.50 to offending football associations, which definitely has nothing to do with the scramble for votes once board elections come around.

Banning snoods? Seriously? They may be slightly rubbish but there must be more pressing issues at hand? It also proves FIFA is capable of making a quick decision. It’s just a shame it’s the wrong one.

But don’t feel bad for FIFA, or even the players. Think of the club shop manager who’s just taken delivery of 10,000 newly-boxed up snoods, replete with club crest.

Sick as a parrot, Brian. But at least his neck will be nice and warm.

Moaning about a win? City fans lose the plot.

Interesting week to be a football fan who cares neither for Red nor Blue. I spent half the week listening to one side taunt the other with something tiresome about 35th birthdays, watched as some Blues bemoaned the fact they only beat Wigan 1-0 despite all the money they’ve spent, then listened to United fans cry about the fact they might now only win the league by two points instead of five.

Meanwhile, my team got battered 5-2 away at Reading, despite having the highest wage bill in the Championship, to keep us hovering just above the trap door. Sometimes, it’s best to keep a bit of perspective and be thankful for small mercies.

The same goes for Everton who beat Newcastle away 2-1. Ona radio programme there was a lunatic (possibly ‘Barry from the M6’) saying despite the victory the team are going nowhere and it was time for Moyes to bugger off. Idiot.

With extremely limited resources Moyes has got his team into the top half of the division. He also has a wonderfully windbag assistant, who will surely push Mike Phelan for the ‘Bland Football Statement of the Year Award’.

Steve Round said about the victory: "We were very disappointed from last week (defeat to Reading in the Cup) and it was important to bounce back. The management had to pick the team up and the Everton players had to pick themselves up.”

Yes it was a proper pick-me-you-and-them-up moment.

Dirk-head helps Reds sink Reds
As for the Liverpool v United match, it was Dirk Kuyt (unlikely horny handed son of toil) who had the biggest say of all. For Liverpool fans, the victory will be sweet but a frustrating reminder of what the team is capable of. And how they were once top dogs.

The Reds of Liverpool have fared well against better sides but lost to those in the lower half of the table. Former player and boss Graeme Souness thinks the win was a marker, and that under King Kenny, Liverpool are back. Time will tell, but there’s still a bit of work to be done before they are serious title challengers.

That Suarez looks like a player though. Fernando who? Indeed Suarez’s jinking slalom through the defence for the first goal was a wonder to behold.

It was also lovely that the Kop sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Kenny Dalglish rather than continually over-singing the song with the name that makes no sense, ‘The Fields of Anfield Road’.

As for Manchester United, we’ve imposed a news blackout on them, no writer at Confidential is allowed to speak to any member of the public about anything to do with the game. Or even about bad sportsmanship. Or about throwing toys out of prams.

More to the point we’ve seen that picture from the Jamie Carragher tackle and we didn’t want to mention Nani’s gash in any way whatsoever. It’s not a phrase we’ve comfortable with.

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