Scottish man upsets northern lady

THE world of politics this week was rocked to its foundations when a man in a suit committed a schoolboy error.

He got caught.

Gordon Brown, of Downing Street, London, came to Gillian Duffy of Bassett Way, Rochdale, for an opportunity of a photographic nature.

Mrs Duffy, formerly a pensioner, and now the Leader of Fair-Minded British Opinion, asked the Scottish man several reasonable questions about the economy and those flocking immigrants.

After talking calmly to the lifelong voter of Labour, which is the man's political party, the Scotsman, also believed to be the British Prime Minister, smiled and departed in a Jaguar limousine.

Mrs Duffy, Mother of the Nation, looked horrified as she was labelled 'bigoted' by hard-of-hearing Mr Brown in the off-camera chat that followed. Journalists leapt at the injustice of it all. The Prime Minister wept at the justice of it all - as the tape of his comments were played back to him in the headmaster's office.

He then stripped naked and walked barefoot over broken glass to Mrs Duffy's council house to apologise and ask for his election campaign back.

Smiling broadly after the 40-minute meeting he declared that he and his best mate Gillian were tickety-boo and everything had been forgotten and forgiven - although that was before she saw the condition of her lupins after 200 baying camera crews had flocked off.

An Oxford English Dictionary spokesman later told Confidential: “Bigoted means unreasonably prejudiced and intolerant. Fool means a person who acts unwisely or imprudently.”

Last night, the finger of blame was pointing at the "other woman" in the saga, a "ridiculous" bird called Sue, who was "responsible for this", according to the recording. "Sue" is believed to be seeking advice from Simon Cowell.