Apprentice Alex drops PR changer

THERE'S only one thing worse than being talked about...

Remember Alex Epstein off The Apprentice? The marketing genius from Manchester who claimed that if he was an apple pie, the apples inside would actually be oranges?

Well he’s back, or at least he’s trying to get back into the limelight by emailing every journalist in his contact book with “lots of ideas” – including us here at Confidential. All of us here at Confidential.

By “lots”, he means three. For the next series of The Apprentice, he would ”make an excellent critic, giving my views and outspoken opinions on a week by week basis”. Whenever that might be. “March, I think”.

He’s also available to help the general public with their “creative conundrums” – after all, he did work on “one of the biggest product launches/mistakes the cleaning market has ever seen”, the Germinator.

Finally he “would be happy to be a critic on all things”.

The email he sent, touting for work, was cc'd to 700 media people across the land and detailed Epstein’s credible business background.

Currently, he’s working freelance as a PR and marketing consultant and doing some worthy work inspiring young people with business aspirations, but he is sure he would be a “fresh and exciting addition to your publication" - whatever that might be. Wedding mags, motoring, it doesn't matter. All manner of titles are on this list.

We’re not sure we’ll be rushing to take Alex up on his offer, but we all admire his determination to talk about his mistakes and being fired so readily. If he wasn't on the radar of every hack in the country before, he is now - after sending his email out without thinking to blind copy the recipients' addresses.

It led to a barrage of catty responses by people keen to hit "reply all" to the entire chosen 700 - and give the hapless Alex a good kicking.

“Alex, you are a shambles,” triumphantly crowed the online showbiz editor, Donna someone, at the Daily Mail.

It also included a few marketing types who inherited a ready-made press list. “We’re a travel company," said one recipient. “Maybe you should leave the UK?"

“Well done on making yourself a Trending Topic on Twitter after failing at a reality TV Show,” replied the music editor of FemaleFirst.

"Many thanks for the email – we do actually have an opportunity I’d be happy to involve you in.

"You see, we recently received an email from a man in Nigeria who apparently holds a few hundred million in gold and cash after a coup in a neighbouring country, and he’s asked us exclusively to help move it out of the country and into the UK, with the reward of 20% offered from the sum for our help.

"Therefore what we’d appreciate is if you could fly to Nigeria to meet this man, provide the details necessary for the cash transfer, and conclude the deal."

Blah blah.

So regrettably, Alex, seems you’re probably not going to get any gigs from this lot.

However, while they may have made mincemeat of you, it is they who are now spam. For in order to stop ourselves from being further distracted by meeja luvvies on a long deadline, we have now been forced to add this email thread to our junk folder.

You're fired, etc.