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Oh yes he did...Oh no, he didn't...
You may have thought Liverpool's birthday celebrations would wind up with the Royal Variety Show and the Christmas Nativity. But there's one last treat in store...
The pantomime season is right here, right now! But don't waste your Christmas cash on expensive theatre trips when you've paid all that Council Tax. Instead, catch the all new and splendidly lavish municipal production, Trouble in Pantoland!.
It's free, it's fast paced, it's fun - and "edgy" too. Just how you like it!
Who needs scripts? Trouble in Pantoland! doesn't - because none of the veteran performers can agree on the same turn of events. But that makes it extra wacky!
And guess what? There are no songs, either, because all the cast members are singing from different versions of their 36-page hymn sheet, one of which is locked in a treasure chest forever. But there are plenty of non-musical scores to settle in this hilarious show. It really has got “something for everyone”!
SCREAM WITH LAUGHTER... when a whole bucket of Snow Whitewash's magic paint is tipped over the heads of the seven dwarfs, Dopey, Sleepy, Sleazy - sorry that should read Sneezy - and all the others (roles still to be cast).
BOO AND HISS.... When you are plunged into darkness as the lighting engineer goes home and a replacement can't be found.
HOLD YOUR BREATH...when Wishy Washy, Buttons, Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle Dee all fall under the Genie's "forgetful" spell.
ALL POINT THE FINGER...and yell “It was him,” whenever anybody at all comes on the stage.
SINGALONG EVERYBODY... to the toe-tapping new number "You couldn't make it up!” , which sees the entire cast looking for the panto's lost plot. And all join in with a rousing rendition of the specially commissioned showstopper, “Your place or mine?”, which is sung by Wishy Washy three times in fast succession at the end of the first act.
After sad faces all round when this summer's annual outdoor production, Cinderella, was cancelled, because no Prince Charming could be found, Trouble in Pantoland! is bound to bring smiles back to Merseyside, and provide plenty of festive cheer!
Trouble in Pantoland! This one will run and run.
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LIverpool Confidential said:- "After sad faces all round when this summer's annual outdoor production, Cinderella, was cancelled, because no Prince Charming could be found..." Did anyone think to ask Crown Prince Harpik? A bona fide Scouse Royal and famous for his magnificent balls that are the pride of Merseyside!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hop it Storey!
They stitched up good an'proper so they did! They held back the tickets for the champagne-quaffing VIPs (i.e., the usual suspects, Bradley, Storey, Colin Hilton's mum) but didn't use them OR release them to an eager public so I performed to half-empty houses!Roll on 2009!
What about the revival of the Tin Man doing "If I only had a brain." That would go down well in a Liverpool panto.
HA HA HA HA!
Haven't they already got enough egg on their faces?
Ey up! Jason H is back from Spain. All together now: "He's behind you!!"
"shouldn't have done that, Warren, shouldn't have done that, Warren, shouldn't have done that, Warren"
why don't we organise our own panto party and invite Widow Henshaw, the fibbing Fireman, the barrowboy and storey-teller as guests of honour. we could all throw rotten eggs at them???
Aha! These bungling dolts can only stab honourable men in the back! There was me, Charlie Kennedy and now Beatrice Fraenkel!
Oops! I was wrong above - it was Horror Storey in the Fat-headed Fireman's kitchen and it was 'Peroni'! You see, I admit to, and take responsibility for, my mistakes, which I suppose must disqualify me from any highly-paid job in Liverpool City Council.
My nose is growing.
Crown Prince Harpik would never stoop the level of these bungling politicians. For their impertinence his majesty would have them all thrown from the radio city tower to a pack of vicious dogs, before declaring a day of dancing and feasting for the people of this fair city.
Eh? (Enters stage left evilly tousling silly haircut then appears startled) Who's been drinking MY Pironi? (Stares maniacally into audience. All the children cry.)
Can someone get that effing genie back in that little lamp or I will effing hose him down!
Unbelievable that Bradley is now denying that he denied telling the Post that he didn't have a meeting with Lee. Is there a part for Pinocchio in this panto.
I simply REFUSE to appear for such a low fee! (Rummages in her drawers to adjust the wads of cash)
This is like taking candy from a baby...
I do hope Mike Storey is the pantomime Dame?
Who do you think is in the arse end of the horse?
Is right! You won't find Crown Prince Harpik "commuting" from Hertfordshire!
HA HA HA HA! (Laughs demonically whilst brandishing a dagger dripping with Cressington Gore...)
They might have egg on their faces but they've our money in their bank accounts.Throwing eggs at them is letting 'em off too easily.
I hope nobody tells Worried Badly to look behind him....
Look behind you, o Fat-Headed Firebobby! There's Horror Storey! (But then you are in his kitchen drinking his Pironi!)