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No need to lock up your Chopper

Honest, we are the most honest (at least when it comes to leaving your bike down)

Published on June 16th 2009.

No need to lock up your Chopper

LIVERPOOL is Britain's most honest city, yes, HONEST city, at least where bikes - and surveys - are concerned.

This should not surprise you.

Meeja types all like it when one of these regular bicycle thief surveys trundles onto their manor with a marketing parable behind it.

You know: The protaganists leave a bike propped up against a wall in a public place, see how long it takes to get nicked and then issue a press release about it. Making sure, of course, that the big stealthy corporate message gets in large at the end..

But we especially like it and forget all that cynicism when we come top - at least top for all the right reasons - of the consumerist "experiments" that put a spoke in, as it were, in popular bike-thieving conceptions.

So voilà....

In an experiment designed to test the honesty of recession-hit Britons, it says here, researchers from the insurance company More Than planted bikes across the country's cities and tested how long it was before they were stolen.

The experiment saw unsecured bicycles left in high footfall locations - Matthew Street (sic) being the Mersey case - with researchers timing how long it was before they were robbed.

And "Liverpool came top of the honesty table with thieves waiting almost four hours to steal a bike".

That's an hour longer than it took light-fingered Mancunians in the Arndale Centre to whizz off with someone's wheels, while in London, the most dishonest city of all, a stray bike was rehomed in just 17 minutes.

The London and Liverpool figures fall way below and above the national average of two hours and 22 minutes. You do the math.

According to the insurance company (this is the cut-to-the chase bit) the number of bikes stolen from UK streets has now risen to an estimated 300,000 annually, which is every 105 seconds, with June (ie now) being the busiest period for bike theft (Get worrying).

In total, bike thieves are costing the nation in excess of £62 million every year. So insure away, today.

A More Than spokesman said: 'Naturally we don't recommend anyone leave their bike unsecured and the experiment proves that, no matter where you live, without proper security it's just a matter of time until your bike is snatched.'

Chastened? Bike theft is a growing problem for all cyclists, they add, as Conservative leader David Cameron can attest to, having had two nicked in the last year.

He may now wish to get on his bike and park his saddle here. Second home? Third home? Anyone feel another survey coming on?

Liverpool, Mathew St.
Bristol, Bedminster area
Manchester, Arndale Shopping Centre
Newcastle, Eldon Shopping Centre
Portsmouth, Southsea area
Cardiff, Capitol Shopping Mall
Birmingham, The Rag Market
Glasgow, Buchanan Street
London, London Bridge Station

Time taken to steal bike
3 hours 52 minutes
3 hours 15 minutes
2 hours 57 minutes
2 hours 25 minutes
2 hours 12 minutes
2 hours 10 minutes
1 hour 55 minutes
1 hour 30 minutes
17 minutes

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12 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

firm buttocksJune 15th 2009.

I see David Cameron is holding five fingers up. Is he onto his fifth home?

Wilfred PicklesJune 15th 2009.

Aye, well you're in t'North now, Lauren lass!

Early DawesJune 15th 2009.

Yes, the researchers were robbed. Unless they had PC Plod with them. Can you be robbed willingly?

LaurenJune 15th 2009.

It doesn't surprise me. The number of friends I have who live in Manchester and who always seem to be getting burgled does, however. This seems like a much safer city than many. I am from Oxford and have had much less trouble here than I get there.

Sir Walter RaleighJune 15th 2009.

Bicycles aren't "robbed" - bicycles are STOLEN. It is the owner who is 'robbed'!

DigJune 15th 2009.

I went shopping in Town yesterday. I took my bike and left it in Mathew Street unlocked as I knew I'd only be about an hour. When I returned it had gone. You said it'd be safe for 3h 52m! Liverpool Confidential you owe me a bike. It was a Honda RN01G by the way.

Sir Walton RaleighJune 15th 2009.

But Smackheid, the piece isn't written in dialect, udderwise yer wud'n frig'n understand i', wudje er?

DigJune 15th 2009.

That wasn't the petrol tank that went up like a bomb it was my bottle of desflurane. I'm off out on another blind date tonight! But don't worry, the desflurane was for me in case she turned out to be ugly. I can't go now. Prof, you owe me a date and an anaesthetic. Mrs. Hewitt in her new girdle won't do! Also Liverpool Confidential owes me a bike. I'll have to start writing all this down, the list is getting longer by the day. I didn't think reading the pages of LivCon could get so expensive!

smackheidJune 15th 2009.

The usage "robbed" is correct in context of dialectical use. It is strictly incorrect but the english language is not Mandarin Chinese and can take minor distortion of meaning to enhance colour.

Professor ChucklebuttyJune 15th 2009.

Dig, don't call the police, I think it was Mr Clack who nicked your bike, he had left his bus pass at home and didn't want to pay the £1.60 or risk having to pay for Mrs Hewitt who was shopping for a new girdle, his chance to mooch around the ladies underwear in Marks. Anyway heard them doing a wheelie back down the Avenue and she confessed to me what had happened. As is custom with a lifted vehicle i told her the best option was to burn it. She reluctantly agreed. So Clack and I under cover of darkness burned said bike to detroy the forensics. Didn't realise the tank was full and it went up like a bomb. In hindsight, we should have taken it to the cast iron shore or Sevvy park as her garage went up with the flames and quickly spread to the house. I can see her now from the back window still greasey black streaks down her face, sifting through the debris looking for the box with her husbands ashes. Bit of a needle in a haystack if you ask me. Anyway I'd been dropping fag ash in it for 5 years , she thinks he's putting on weight. So anyway sorry about that, you are right it's confidentials fault, Clack will just get probation so do them for the compo. Main problem now is that Mrs Hewitt is moving in with us until the insurance is sorted and the house re-built. Lock the bloody thing next time. I can tell yu now this is the last time I try and help anyone.

smackheidJune 15th 2009.

Dialect is correct. It is defined as the vocabulary which is specific to a particular group of people. It is not specific to dumbed down and abbreviated word forms.

R. A. MateJune 15th 2009.

Ahr 'ey yeah mate - dey do dough, don't dee dough.

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