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Dig's Big Date

Liverpool Confidential readers are a romantic lot and now we've put two of you through a blind date. If you don't know them by now....

Published on October 23rd 2008.

Dig's Big Date

IT started with an all-day full English and has blossomed into an all-day, full-on romance. Or has it?

Liverpool Confidential readers have been treated to a bit of sauce with their bacon and eggs over the last few weeks, and we're not talking about the HP variety.

So much so that you turned our humble Best of Three review of fry-ups into one of the longest running threads in the site's history.

And thousands of you, according to our live statistics, have been coming back to read the latest impromptu exchanges between regular ranter our “Dig”, as Cilla might say, and the mysterious “Woman from the Pilgrim”. Woman From The Pilgrim had something to plug: the Pilgrim pub.

They had never even met. She had opinions about sausages. He said he'd pop in after work. She wore a badge in the bar asking “Are you Dig?” She got funny looks. He asked her out. Things were hotting up. At this point we intervened.

Result? Our lovely friends at the Malmaison Brasserie stood our car sales chap, 32, and our cook, 20, a romantic dinner from their fantastic Home Grown and Local Menu last week. Would they take advantage of the Mal's hotel facilities too? Well they said they might next time. Blimey.

Meantime, here's what happened....

Switch on your speakers and press play!


LC: How does it feel being part of Liverpool Confidential’s first romance?

Dig: It’s very interesting.
Woman From The Pilgrim: It feels a bit funny.

LC: After just previously talking to each other through Liverpool Confidential, and on the phone, what were your first impressions when you finally got to see each other.

Dig: When Woman From The Pilgrim walked out of the house, I just thought “wow”. She looked absolutely beautiful.
Woman From the Pilgrim: Dig looked like he was a very nice person.

LC: Did you know you were going to get along when you started talking?

Dig: No, I didn’t have a clue. We seemed to get on really well though. We had a lot in common and we had a good laugh.
Woman From The Pilgrim: He was very funny.

LC: What did you talk about?

Dig: Family, friends, music… What we like to do when we’re not at work and obviously work as well.
Woman from the Pigrim: All sorts. Work, places...

LC: And do you have similar interests?

Dig: Yeah we have a lot of similar interests. Like I say, we talked a lot about music. One of her good friends is Dave from The Zutons, one of my heroes because I absolutely love The Zutons.
Woman from the Pigrim: He wants me to introduce him!

LC: The burning question, are you going to see each other again?

Dig: That’s the plan. I certainly hope she says the same.
Woman from the Pilgrim: I think we will. It's hard. At the moment I'm not really looking for a relationship. I've got my daughter and I run my own business.

LC: Do you think meeting someone on the internet is a good way of starting a romance? Have you ever done it before?

Dig: No, I’ve never done it before. It was fairly unusual. It seems to have worked out well for me and Woman From The Pilgrim. Obviously meeting someone off the internet could be an absolute disaster, but it seems to have worked out well for us so far.

LC: Without wanting to sound completely sexist, do you think the Woman in the Pinny From The Pilgrim could be the women in the pinny for you?

Dig: Ooh. That remains to be seen....

Pictures by Phil Gorry. With thanks to the staff at the Malmaison, Liverpool. Click here for their fantastic wine and dine offers for other romantically inclined Liverpool Confidential readers!

PS! If you want to be considered for Liverpool Confidential's next blind date, contact us on editorial@liverpoolconfidential.co.uk

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104 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

hello!October 23rd 2008.

big ears,kacked her keks,what kind of oaf are you?

Prof. PopkissOctober 23rd 2008.

He could be telling zer truth, Mike! Look here: www. supermarionationforever.co.uk/…/master32.gif…

ken the feral moggieOctober 23rd 2008.

what do you mean fake cat ears? how dare you they may be a little dog eared but they are mine!

Gordon ZolaOctober 23rd 2008.

You are all welcome to come to my Cheese Fondle party. £20.00 extra if you want it without clingfilm.

professor chucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Ken you put your paw in your mouth once again. Are you wearing thos concat lenses i gave you? I escaped with Muriel who is 6ft 6" and 28 stone. Not Mildred, who is about about 4ft 10" and looks like a pickled walnut in slippers. No offence Mildred.

princess parkOctober 23rd 2008.

yep we DID call it the PILLY we went there every night!

Professor ChucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Well done to you both. Are you going back when they have plastered the walls? I hope this means I don't have to fork out for those doughnuts now. The Music was a nice touch, is that the Zutons? Although I have to say if I was the Manager,I wouldn't have let you in without a tie. There'll be none of that casual dress if you come to work for me.It'll be a proper buttoned up boiler suit and a collander with tickling stick decoration on your head.

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. I hope you have fish and finger pies. Forget the Mal. We can eat them in the park with a bottle of Special Red.

tricky wooOctober 23rd 2008.

Big feet, big hands?

Tickling stick girlOctober 23rd 2008.

Prof: Pick me, pick me!!!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Ladyboys? Mouth Organ? I can see a pattern emerging here Rev. Get a grip of yourself.

watching with interestOctober 23rd 2008.

pinny woman runs the food part of the pilgrim not the whole pub.if you had kept up you would know that. a pocket sized wearwolf runs the pub.DUH....

watching with interestOctober 23rd 2008.

detland wouln't shorten words he is german and as such very correct.pity the owners of the grim don't bring him back his cellar was legend not like that recycled dishwater spue they serve today.

liverpoollooprevilOctober 23rd 2008.


TommoOctober 23rd 2008.

How do I get to go on a free date with a woman of Pilgrim Woman's calibre? Are you doing more of these?

Back now!October 23rd 2008.

Everyone has always called the Pilgrim "the Grim". Keep up, icomer!

liverpoollooprevilOctober 23rd 2008.

can i go on a date with woman from the pilgrim? she's so lovely who would of thought she would have come out from the pilgrim. mr dig you was a very lucky man let me shake your hand.

ZarinOctober 23rd 2008.


liverpoollooprevilOctober 23rd 2008.

wow how great is the woman from the grim? why dont you do an auction for a date with the woman from the pilgrim? i bet a wod of people boys and girls would go for that. just an idea i know i'd bid

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

SADLY? Sadly? Dig is the only person? Why is that sadly? Bloody hell Prof why dont u tell the world about my Maybrick anger.

ken the feral moggieOctober 23rd 2008.

professor chucklebuttie is not in gaol.i legged him and a group of japanese tourists all the way up springwood just the other day.

Stan, Dad's boredOctober 23rd 2008.

Is that your recommendation Alex?You can tell us, this is confidential after all.

silver tiaraOctober 23rd 2008.

why THANKYOU V I Lenin Airport for helping me out there with reminisences of the Pilly my 'local' even though i lived 10 miles away!ahh the bottles of champagne consumed when we were depressed! those were the days!we had FUN times there!miss it now!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Nope he ain't Mike Storey. However he is actually now in Liverpool. I lost touch with my father a while back so he sent Zarin looking for me. He loved Liverpool so much he wanted to stay. I contacted my old pal Chucklebutty who contacted Nigel Ponsonby Smallpiece who in turn gave him a job in the deep jam mines. He has since changed his name from Zarin to Mick the Marmalizer.

Tricky WooOctober 23rd 2008.

Calm down everyone!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Whats so bad about conversing with myself and Ken? You didn't complain last week when we all went dancing in The Echo Arena. I know we got kicked out but next time we'll go when it's open. We've go to back soon. Ringo needs feeding.

Moaning MildredOctober 23rd 2008.

Go on with yer all, you know I'm gorgeous and you all want my support tights round your neck.Pickled Walnut in slippers?How very dare you Chucklebutty! Me hounding you? Cheeky git, you keep pestering me to go to your shed for a quicky!Or did you say get me some cheesey puffs from the kwiki?

Rusty SpikeOctober 23rd 2008.

Well, Silver Tiara et al...my view is if you can actually remember the 80s - and the Pilgrim - then you weren't, as the old Hippy saying goes, there, me auld sausage. The Grim, the Pilly...what nonsense. I don't recall ever Det calling it that....and you will surely remember Det....if not....you definitely are yabbering about another era....

professor chucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Even more sadly, I am now conversing with a feral cat. No offence Ken and I know you get anxious at social events. She did over react a bit especially when you got into her blouse. Forget the funeral, that bloddy Hugh Fearnly Whittingstool has beaten us to it and had the remains of Ian for supper. it'll be on telly, BBC2 sometime in December. Last in series. Hugh choked to death on the condom.

silvertiaraOctober 23rd 2008.

i wanna date pick me! pick me!

Moaning MildredOctober 23rd 2008.

No one told me I had a date with the Proff?He has been after me for ages now and I keep telling him, Proff, Proff, your funny and all that lad but look at the state of your kipper!I've got my reputation to think of and other's will be heart broken if I come off the market!Anyway, The real Proff is in jail?You Sir are an imposter!

NadiaOctober 23rd 2008.

Hello bigboy! You are straight man yes? You keep red hot Russian lady in style she accustomed?

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Masterspy is my father. My mum conceived me while he was looking for Supercar and some allies here during the war. I'm an actor too just like my dad. My more recent parts you may know have been The Penguin and Patrick Starfish. I auditioned for XXX but they wanted somebody less attractive and intelligent looking. Darn that Vin Diesel and his inferior ways!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Happy birthday Prof.

ken the feral moggieOctober 23rd 2008.

god almighty prof what have you done?i was having a smashing dream that night,i was bimbiling along the rala with rats just throwing themselves under my remaining claws.then horror mildred in her quilted nylon house coat flapping in the draught exposing her control tights eukkkka.no matter how many blue wickeds i consume i csnnot erase the events of that night, prison guards you say, that explains a lot,truncheons you say. i thought they were just pleased to see you. and yes the banshee style wailing,mildred in my anti personel nettles. i thought ian had come back to put the willies up me.spill the beans prof what have you been up to between wednesday nights in the woods.

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Why don't you contact Liverpool Confidential 1st. Angie or Ben could speak to their Manchester cohorts and sort something for you. There's a Mal in Manchester as well. We loved it. Got really pampered and looked after.

Mr Buns The BakerOctober 23rd 2008.

Yum yum Digs what????

Silver TiaraOctober 23rd 2008.

for a ‘date’ (and not the kind in a box with a plastic fork people buy at Christmas)!

the real woman from pilgrimOctober 23rd 2008.

that was not me

Carry On DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Way to go!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Big ears? Bald head. I even have a mild case of bog eye. How I manage to be so beautiful is beyond me. Pilgrim Woman you are a lucky lady.

liverpoollooprevilOctober 23rd 2008.

mines a BLT with light mayo

Kill the killjoyOctober 23rd 2008.


Professor ChucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Your maybrick 'anger? Is that still giving you trouble? Maybe you should go back to briefs.Anyway, Mrs C will be back from the her Tantric Flower Arranging class soon so sadly, I need to get back into my own clothes.

silver TiaraOctober 23rd 2008.

Back now!!!!! the grim! I went there for years in the 80s and WE NEVER called it the GRIM it was always THE PILLY!

Mitch the monkeyOctober 23rd 2008.

Aaagh! Ooh ooh ooh!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Yep we've reached that level. I'm disappointed you mentioned so many people without mentioning me Prof. In my own article no less!! Any chance of another poem from McGough by way of an apology? That would be lovely. Pilgrim Woman is about Lpoollooprevil. Very busy last few weeks. She is coming back soon to help me fight back against all these attacks and insults. You should be standing up for me as well Prof. I am your trusted aide and employee after all. I've spoke to my father too. Soon enough there will be loads of Russian and Albanian agents looking for my insulters. Zarin is coming out of the Deep Jam mines to lead them. In the next few weeks Liverpool will be awash with loads of Thomas Crown type characters Carrying Zarins Sarin Brollies.

AnonymousOctober 23rd 2008.

Threesome then, Gordo?

Stuart SullivanOctober 23rd 2008.

Zarin is described as being an incompetent sidekick with messy hair - do you think he could be living amongst under the name Mike Storey?

Rusty SpikeOctober 23rd 2008.

With the greatest of respect 'watching with interest'...I think Det would fall about letting rip with one of his infamous hysterical cackles at being described as ' very correct' - very deliberately and hilariously fecking rude maybe, but correct? Hmmmm...and I can't quite recall anyone referring to him as Detland, whether in the Pilgrim, Ye Cracke or the Swan...But then, one is harking back to an era that was largely a blur.....However, these comments are, as I say, with respect 'watching with interest'...

Dr ChucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Do you suffer from unsightly quotation marks, are your commas inverted? It may be that you have a semi colon. I have been practicing for many years in this field and i narly got it right but the farmer caught me and threw me off his land. Call this number now for expert advice 0777735264536178374657387263 ext 09584736475869483726354

SkinflintOctober 23rd 2008.

Good on yer Dig!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Thank you very much. I shall pass your praise on to the Kirkby hoody whom I consult before ranting.

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Nope not poisoned at all. I don't think you could get poisoned at The Mal. Absolutely delicious. We got REALLY pampered and looked after. Thanks Mal, Angie and Ben. We're both really busy at mo. I've got end of month gubbins to deal with and Pilgrim Woman has lost one of her assistants to a holibobs. We've seen each other a few times since. Getting on really well. Why isn't anybody else putting their names forward for a blind date? Come on fellow ranters don't be shy. Time for 2 of you to let us read about, laugh at and take the mick out of you!

watching with interestOctober 23rd 2008.

rusty spike, with mucho respect also, i already said his name aint detland its detlet. also the very correct german thing was extreme irony.stand by dets skill in the real ale department though.

silver tiaraOctober 23rd 2008.

well you mustve been going there when all those loud yobs went and ruined it for all us artyfolk!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Hows about fot the next Bar Essentials; The Pilly or Grim or what it's actually called, The Pilgrim! The pints in there are fine these days. Drank a few times in there without meeting the lovely chef. I hear the food in there is fantastic. But then you would expect me to say that...

silvertiaraOctober 23rd 2008.

why are people calling it the 'grim' sounds awful! and you can tell that nana maskouri looking woman isnt the slightest bit interested in the poor guy!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Finally got the proper wheels eh Ken? It was about about time you got rid of those crusty old roller skates. I've never seen a dog or a mouse laugh before, but every time you tried to skate... At least now you'll be able to fulfill your kittenhood dream of being towed down the road by a car. Did they fit the lights, generator and indicators too? You could do me a favour. A few monkey friends want to break out of the Safari Park Prison. They've been stealing car parts from passing vehicles for years in the hope they could amass enough parts to build a car, all pile in and crash out. They've got all the parts now, it's just none of them are trained mechanics. Could you go in pretending to be a car and give them lifts out 1 by 1? I'll give you some baby clothes to dress them up in on Wednesday.

emma graceOctober 23rd 2008.

wow I wish Manchester Confidential would do something like this...I'm always ranting but alas, no date yet!!

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Are you asking me out Nadia? You'd want to go to the St.Petersburg no doubt. You're only asking me out as you've just found out I'm half Russian puppet. Well I must warn you if you get with me there's no strings attached.

GordoOctober 23rd 2008.

Emma, caught you! I am seeing Jonathan first thing in the morning, I am going to find you a mate. You lucky girl.

Professor ChucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Dig, well who hasn't considered it when trapped in a lift with a Norwegian Sailor for 10 minutes. But thank you, I am in enough trouble over the Bangkok Lady Boys show without you starting. By the way I got us seats in second row stalls, pay me when I see you. Shall we wear our outfits again?I think it better this time if you are Pat Coombes and I am Peggy Mount.

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

I thought they are both blokes. Maybe I'm wrong. It could be LC's 1st gay blind date. I'm sure The Prof would be up for it. He's always talking about his fruity persuasion. Deep jam mine? I shudder to think what that really means.

Tony ChristieOctober 23rd 2008.

How did Dig's blind date turn into a dig about the fireman? Only, I repeat, only in Liverpool...

Professor ChucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Little Britain,is like being trapped in a temporal loop as Captain Jean Leotard would say. Patty and Peggy were a class act! anyway you are rubbish at the voice. Maybe we should go back to being Barbara Castle and Shirley Williams. I am not taking Ken anywhere, do you hear me Ken? You almost killed that woman in Morgans in Woolton Village, running amok like that. It was your own damned fault for sitting on her sizzling Hotplate. Tearing round the room like one of those motor cycle wall of death riders. You cannot be trusted. By the way I see Ian the Condom covered Hedgehog didn't make it across the road for the Telegraph this morning. Very sad. Will you be going to the funeral? There's bits of him halfway there already.

Alexandr SlanoviczOctober 23rd 2008.

Do not insult my boy you pigs or my agents will come for you with their poison umbrellas. I warn you once.

AnonymousOctober 23rd 2008.

do you live ere butty?

woman from pilgrimOctober 23rd 2008.


emma graceOctober 23rd 2008.

hahaha why thank you gordo! aww my very own cupid

Liz TeriaOctober 23rd 2008.

These two have gone quiet, did you poison them? Is it all over bar the shooting pains? What about 'Wretching with interest, Professor Chuckinabucket and Sicky Woo?

ken the feral moggieOctober 23rd 2008.

fear not dig,i am back i have been down the pdsa having me wheels attached.you will see on wednesday how fast i can shift now.are you going to bring pinny woman with you ask her to bring some rashers will you i need to build up my strength.bring that zarin fella along aswell he sounds like a laugh.

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

The incident in question was well after the turn of the century. I'm only 32 so it wasn't that long ago. As for sambuca being for ladyboys I do remember you had a robe or dress or something like that on. Do I remember long hair as well and.... oh no. I've just remembered why I don't go to church any more and it isn't what hymns we can or can't sing.

princess parkOctober 23rd 2008.

ahh i remember when i was a lady of the night and was converted by the Rev at the tarts and vicars do! halleluyah!

Penny LaneOctober 23rd 2008.

never mind that Pilgrim woman, I think Dig has got a great sense of humour and wit from his very eloquent rants on these pages. And you know what turns a girl on most....

Dr. BeakerOctober 23rd 2008.

Excellet Mike! You have caught up with him at last! Most satisfactory!

professor chucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

Anon, yes I do live here I have a small apartment in Property Confidential at the top of the page. But I may be moving to Leeds Confidential soon on the advice of Dr Leunig. Sadly Dig is the only person I have to speak to these days, when you get to my age and see your friends start to drop off one by one, you begin to realise how lonely it can get on a barstool.

ken the feral moggieOctober 23rd 2008.

sorry professor didn't mean to make such a fuss in morgans but me arse was on fire.that lady can really move,thought for a moment i was going to have to blind her in both eyes.i only wanted to put me tail end in her beverage but no the stupid woman insisted on running around fanning the flames.ah yes ian, nasty goings on that. managed to pick up his telegraph when they reopened the road though. after all he is paid up until sunday.hate it when this death thing happens the natural pecking order gets all messed up.that bloody mink will be leaping out of trees trying to skull rag me again.last time i had to wear mrs thomkins spare murkin for weeks.should we employ a crying boy for dear ian's do i believe they are all the rave in that london.

JuPoOctober 23rd 2008.

I thought Kodjak was dead?This lot are a gang of perves after that poor lady who must have kacked her keks when she saw the size of Digs ears!

ArthurOctober 23rd 2008.

Do you know, I think Dig is a lovely looking bloke. Pick me to go out with him next, never mind the crusty old colon ****er

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Aaaah I remember the day well Reverend. Do you remember having to leave the pub early and go to hospital when flames came out of your nose after getting holy drunk on the holy water? At least that's what you told us it was. We know it was sambuca and absinthe really.

Professor ChucklebuttyOctober 23rd 2008.

And after all that, Venus just called and said he was called Emile Zarin, but was often called Friend Zarin (Franzarin) by Masterspy. No wonder they cut the funding to Space City.

ColonOctober 23rd 2008.

Some fundamental questions: Is this a private web site, or a public one? Have i just stumbled across a family gathering? What car did the salesman pick to try and impress? Did he drink as much as it looks like and if so, who drove him home? Or didn't he go home?Who was running the Pilgrim? What was the food like?

AnonymousOctober 23rd 2008.

We called it The Grim. Still do.


YES AT LAST!!!!! WE LOVE IT,LOVE IT,. LOVE IT.we knew you were up to something. we all went and had food at the grim and yes it was good (yum yum pigs bum)we were stunned when we saw pinny woman how beautiful is she.dont think she will be here for long. we all believe that she will be snapped up by some tv food show.move over nigella you just been knocked off yer perch we have our very own scouse goddess!well done dig bet no one else will ever strike it so lucky on a blind date.we demand to be kept up to speed on the scouse goddess.text alerts at the very least.

ken the feral moggieOctober 23rd 2008.

i agree with penny lane about dig's sense of humour how right you are. and have you noticed the size of his feet(well you know what they say) was that ok dig? can i have me scampi fries now pleeeeese

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

Isn't it big feet big shoes? Cant be the other. Ive been catstrated to keep me away from Feral moggies.

spartygirlOctober 23rd 2008.

no pinny woman I am I

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

REALLY? Getaway! Well thank you for that. I would never have guessed. Do I really look and rant that stupid or am I just a poor misunderstood LC ranter?

Pilgrim FatherOctober 23rd 2008.

Does it still have all that crappy Beatles rubbish all over the walls?

Bryan FerryOctober 23rd 2008.

Colon is just a jealous ba****d.

watching with interestOctober 23rd 2008.

feel a bit of a divvy.came up with det real name to show how clever i am and put down another mates name begining with d instead. so just to put the record strait decland publishes mags and detlet keeps an excelent cellar.also i have been informed that the ale is no longer as bad as the last time. so sorry dear old grim just have a dire memory of being taken out by a pint of real ale a year or so ago.

liverpoollooprevilOctober 23rd 2008.

has anyone seen her befor in the grim/pilly?

Liverpool ConfidentialOctober 23rd 2008.

That's what we say at the end of the story. If you like, get in touch with us as we will be doing more. You might have to wait a bit though. We've already got the Prof and Moaning Mildred booked in at some Cuban eel bar he keeps going on about, but shakey hands might be a problem, and we don't mean our photographer's. Are you "up for it", Prof, as the saying goes?

watching with interestOctober 23rd 2008.

still watching with interest.the pilgrim is the grim and that nana maskouri looking woman is the woman in a pinny or pinny woman to her mates!

Liverpool ConfidentialOctober 23rd 2008.

Like Dig says if you want to be considered for Liverpool Confidential's next blind date, contact us on editorial@liverpoolconfidential.co.uk or call us on 0151 708 0948

Alex OramOctober 23rd 2008.

I thought it was Bradley who was going to jail?

DigOctober 23rd 2008.

We can't keep doing that Little Britain 'I'm a lady' routine Prof. It didnt work last time. Now people know what I look like too we're rubber ducked. If we take Ken with his fake cat ears we might have a chance. That will be an interesting encounter for the doormen.

ken the feral moggieOctober 23rd 2008.

not without me you if you don't mind,i am as you know a great judge if character.my cat scan is second to none any defects will show up,any feebleness of mind,plug ugly? ken will spot it.as for pinny woman, i say ding dong.thought dig had more of a spring in his step during the springwood rout last night.by the way hard cheese professor but you did egg me on a bit.a bag of frozen peas often brings relief to that type of injury. oh how we laughed on way way to a+e.

woman from pilgrimOctober 23rd 2008.

ha its great.i think you should send chucklebutty and watcheing with intrest out on a blind date!

The real NadiaOctober 23rd 2008.

Which sick person pretend to be Nadia?

woman from pilgrimOctober 23rd 2008.


Doctor Dave McElpinneyOctober 23rd 2008.

I volunteer to go on a blind date with anything blonde. Man woman or beast, as long as it's blonde.

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