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Calling names, please

Does this Bootle tyre outfit have the most inventive name ever? If you know better, there's a £50 drinking tab in it

Published on February 27th 2008.

Calling names, please

Liverpool is a proud city of commerce. You knew that. But it is also a proud city of commerce built on some of the most marvellous names for businesses we have seen.

Admittedly, hairdressers and buttie shops take all the rich pickings, name wise, in cities across the land, but a quick trip around the suburbs yesterday, camera in hand, revealed a plethora of shops and other firms vying for trade with some of the most remarkable titles.

Yes, there's probably nothing new about Tuck Inn, but we can only applaud the lady poodle clipper called Her Of The Dog, and the chiropractor called Back For Your Future.

Some of this lot below are twee, some are just baffling, and we were highly disappointed to discover that the Capital Of Culture chippie on Wavertree High Street appears to be no more.

And while Denny's barber shop in Stanley Road raises no eyebrows, so to speak, the legend underneath the name, “It'll be alright when it's washed, honest!” was something we especially wanted to share.

So have a look at this by-no- means-exhaustive selection, and if you can fill in the gaps with wonderfully named Mersey shops or businesses let us know, below. We will come and find the best suggestee and ply them with drink, Father Jack style.

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52 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

John Lennon AirportFebruary 26th 2008.

That's awful. What about John Lennon Airport?

JKFebruary 26th 2008.

Of all the signs in Liverpool, the 'nortons for crap' sign on the Dock Road was easily the best. I think it is sad thats it has been covered up for 2008! www.newfolder.co.uk/…/crap-hidden-for-2008.html…

Accident repairFebruary 26th 2008.

I know it is not even close to Liverpool but the best sign is in Pant Wales. Reading 'Pant accident repair'. Brilliant!!

Jack HackettFebruary 26th 2008.

How about Hairlucinations hair salon in the feckin' Bootle Strand.

Paul>D>SFebruary 26th 2008.

Ha, wot about the pub just off breck road called the Cockwell Inn. The name has been changed now its just called the Cockwell.

Lesley RFebruary 26th 2008.

Have you seen the corner shop by Seacombe Ferry called Singhsburys. Ho ho!

AL WFebruary 26th 2008.

I saw a septic tank lorry in Bootle , the wonderfully lyrical slogan on the side of the vehicle said , " WE ARE NO.1 AT LOOKING AFTER YOUR NO.2's " Hideous !!

Jeff BadgerFebruary 26th 2008.

My favourite is "Big Baps" sarnie shop on Prescot Road. It's funny cos it sounds like boobs.

Joyce JonesFebruary 26th 2008.

How about "The Bra Detective" In Ormskirk Market Hall? "Large or Small We Find 'Em All!

LEON KAYFebruary 26th 2008.

There is a dogroomers on Brodie Avenue called wait fot it...........Doggie Style

AndyFebruary 26th 2008.

I used to be a big BBC fan. Bootle Barge Company.

KlaatuFebruary 26th 2008.

There's a hairdressers in Fenwick Street called "Good Head"...They're not allowed to have their number in the Yellow pages apparently!

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

Remember the Monty Carlo chippie on Upper Stanhope Street? Anoter casulaty of so-called "regeneration"!

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

Well if you're talking about faraway places like Crosby then I'll mention the letter that fell off the wall of the 'Janus' restaurant in Ludlow...

Rusty SpikeFebruary 26th 2008.

Apologies - AE Scouseman is right about the Angel. It was a pub but there certainly was a shop called Gabriel's next door. Although, perhaps I'd spent too long in the Angel and then imagined I was in heaven chatting to God's stormtrooper chap.

Rusty SpikeFebruary 26th 2008.

Surely the last call on out of town 'corking business names'...but there was one on the island of Iona that I longed to nick....it was a sign outside the only pub....The Martyrs' Bay Bar.......a quick snifter before the crucifixion presumably.

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

Nah, the Angel on Dale was a pub that was mysteriously popular with women who worked in offices. It had a disco at lunchtime (whilst the lads sank at least three pints each before trudging back to work).There used to be an undertakers in St. Oswald Street, Old Swan (opposite where Tesco is now) that was ‘R. Graves’. Not a humorous invention, but an amazing coincidence or a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Garrick SnugFebruary 26th 2008.

There is a hairdresser-cum-tanning parlour in Birkenhead's Argyle Street called 'Brown Bits and Snippets'. Rather than making me laugh it makes me feel rather queasy.

TV KellyFebruary 26th 2008.

I'm reminded of the delicatessen in Bled in Slovenia called Shit Food.

Rusty spikeFebruary 26th 2008.

And now for 'Father Jack's' off licence....Drink, Drink, Drink, Feck....

pamela simmonsFebruary 26th 2008.

Well, i know a classic one, it's actually in Helsby, but it always makes me laugh. It's a laundry pressing service called ' iron maiden' haha x

Dougal MaguireFebruary 26th 2008.

Father Treads is undoubtedly the best - but check out the dog grooming place Ultimutt on Smithdown and Phairverts on Bold Street. Genius!

Penny LaneFebruary 26th 2008.

I do remember the Monte Carlo. You could get a "loosey" in there for 10p on your way home from the Casa. They sold everything, washing up liquid, tea towels.Now there is the amusingly named World On A Plate around the corner, which, ladies, if you happen to be having a baby, or stuck in the Womens having your plumbing sorted, should be the first port of call for a takeaway when you realise you are not going to be able to stomach the food in the hozzie. Ugh.

FrancovileFebruary 26th 2008.

There is a shop in Montpellier city centre with an English name which is supposed to be trendy - a bit like English shops with French names. It is a sports shoe supplier and its name is Athlete's Foot.

AnonymousFebruary 26th 2008.

Jeff Badger - did you really have to explain that one?

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

There used to be a 'Curl Up and Dye' around Old Swan or West Derby. Is it still in the phone book? (I haven't seen a phone book for years)

SpookedFebruary 26th 2008.

That last one is my favourite. Uncanny that you should choose to do a story on Farther Treads the very day that the Craggy Island festival in honour of the great, late man gets under way. Maybe he is still with us somewhere.

AnonymousFebruary 26th 2008.

There used to be a shop around our way called 'Post Office', it's not there any more though!

Bertie WoosterFebruary 26th 2008.

Bit left of field but I once saw a chinese restaurant in Amsterdam called the Foo King - honest! I have a photo of it

Mike TVFebruary 26th 2008.

There's a hairdressers in Crosby village called Hair By Snips. Not particularly funny, except the two letter S's dropped off once. For about a year the sign read "Hair by nip".

Great Howard StreetFebruary 26th 2008.

If you drive north from the city centre, there is a big sign for tyres and exhausts at the side of Great Howard Street. In a desperate attempt to attract people's attention, the sign says tyreSEXhausts.

that's mr bollocks to youFebruary 26th 2008.

What about the El Passo Driving School in Woolton. Yeehaw!

Rusty SpikeFebruary 26th 2008.

And does anyone remember the two adjacent shops in Dale Street in the late 1980s...one was called Angel - and sold cakes - the other was a wine merchant called Gabriel's....the two signs lined up, it was a corker.....

MarkFebruary 26th 2008.

Agreed. Very sad. A shame they don't have more of a sense of humour these people.

S.fairyFebruary 26th 2008.

I can't believe the highly amusing 'Jamaican Me Hungry' on Lark Lane has been overlooked! Best appreciated with full-on Jamaican accent after several vinos (or should that be Red Stripe?).

ShellFebruary 26th 2008.

How about....R.S.Cape - Funeral Directors on South Road, Waterloo.WAGS - Dogs' Washing And Grooming salon on Eaton Road, West Derby.....?

Phil McCrackenFebruary 26th 2008.

Whatever happened to 'L for Leather'? And who remembers the glorious clothing emporium 'Sexy Rexies'? Come to think of it whatever happened to Barbara Daley and Bohn Books which are now being demolished and instead of a shiny impressive tower we are going to have it all paved over.

AndyFebruary 26th 2008.

I used to be a big BBC fan. Bootle Barge Company.

Farther TreadsFebruary 26th 2008.

New Farther Treads website - http://www.farthertreads.co.uk

JayFebruary 26th 2008.

My favourite is the sandwich shop on East Prescot Road near Sainsburys called Sarnie Schwarzeneger's

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

Hey, what the...

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

Well if you're talking about faraway places like Crosby then I'll mention the letter that fell off the wall of the 'Janus' restaurant in Ludlow...

acayibFebruary 26th 2008.

I like the new Plaice to Meat restaurant on Allerton Road

Mike TVFebruary 26th 2008.

I remember that. It was on That's Life!

booFebruary 26th 2008.

How about R. S. Cape Funeral Directors in South Road, Waterloo

Mrs DoyleFebruary 26th 2008.

go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on

Paul>D>SFebruary 26th 2008.

Great one ere there's a footy team that plays in red, called liverpool f cHa Ha halerious.

Davy LiverFebruary 26th 2008.

There used to bean accountants in Woolton called Bent. That's just what you want, isn't it?

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

Again this is out-of-area but there was a family firm of builders in somewhere like Bolton, and the family were of Indian subcontinent descent. They all wore t-shirts emblazoned ‘You’ve had the cowboys, now try the Indians!’

A. E. ScousemanFebruary 26th 2008.

Ah yes, Big Baps opposite Green Lane! Always causes a jug-related chortle!

Genuinely amazedFebruary 26th 2008.

It never ceases to amaze me how many so-called scousers get amazed themselves when they see the man up the ladder in Berry Street, and think he's real. You know who you are!

Mark My WordsFebruary 26th 2008.

Ok, then. What about Bell End Farm in Pickering, Yorks?

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