Dress like a Northerner?

WHEN you think of a northerner, what look comes to mind?

Cloth-capped Lancastrian? Hoodied scal in a Berghaus jacket? Tantastic WAG, complete with hair rollers, surgically moulded designer clothes and enough slap to sink a ship? Wrong, wrong and wrong again.

The North Clothing is a brand that doesn't discriminate on race, sex or class but on what part of the country you're from. It's about thinking, 'I'm not young or old, black or white, rich or poor. I am northern.'

A northerner is quite simply a person wearing a T-shirt with the words 'The North' emblazoned on the front. Or so says The North Clothing – a brand which is trying its damnedest to make us celebrate the beautiful North, in the most ridiculously desperate and unimaginative way.

Yes, this is 100 per cent serious and no, it's not really a new cult. The North was originally established in 1996 and is being un-originally re-launched for summer 2010 with a new range of products and a website. They sell a range of T-shirts, polos, hoodies, hats, accessories and a selection for girls – all bearing the slogan. The company states that 'The garments leave little doubt as to the wearer's origins.' You don't say.

Martin James, director of The North, further explains: "Our brand is for northerners who enjoy loud music, good times and a slight feeling of superiority over our southern neighbours. The number of requests we've received for new products over the last couple of years has left us in no doubt that it's time to put our own stamp on casual clothing again."

He adds: "The North Clothing is a brand that doesn't discriminate on race, sex or class but on what part of the country you're from. It's about thinking, 'I'm not young or old, black or white, rich or poor. I am northern."

And we might also add that the clothing range is also beneficial for those suffering from amnesia.

If you're a forgetful, loud music-loving, good time-having, non-discriminating, contradicting northerner who hates that cancerous sprawl called Lundun and all those blood sucking saaverners, kit yourself out from head to toe in the North Clothing available from www.thenorthclothing.com and stand proud. There's nowt as queer as folk, eh?