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Lady Gaga review

Alastair McCall is officially a little monster after a Gaga-ntuan night at the MEN arena

Published on June 4th 2010.

Lady Gaga review

It’s the same dilemma every morning. Standing in front of the wardrobe wondering whether to go with the yellow PVC one-piece with a telephone on your head, or the bikini that shoots sparks from your genitals. Honestly, sometimes it just feels like your whole wardrobe needs a revamp doesn’t it?

And so the story continued through the show, with Gaga determined to get herself to the Monster Ball for “the best party on Earth”, a bit like Cinderella…. on crack.

You already know who I’m talking about. That’s right, the hit parade’s hottest property and self-styled queen of weird Lady Gaga, who last night brought her Monster Ball show back to the MEN arena for two extra shows due to public demand.

And it was quite a show, kicking off with the lady herself just visible behind a giant ruched curtain, requiring only the slightest tilt of the head to send her “little monsters” (that’s fans to you and me) into a frenzy. Once the curtain lifted we found ourselves in a scene from Mad Max, all neon, scaffolding and a giant armoured car, though I don’t remember Mel Gibson lifting the bonnet of his Interceptor to tinkle on the ivories in the engine block.

And so the story continued through the show, with Gaga determined to get herself to the Monster Ball for “the best party on Earth”, a bit like Cinderella…. on crack. She even had her own fairy godmother, a bleach-blond transvestite who, when he wasn’t reassuring Gaga, was dancing around the stage playing the maracas. At first glance I thought Bez had fallen on really hard times.

“Do you know what I hate more than money?” she asked at one point, “the truth”. Cue squeals of delight from the monsters in attendance. Unfortunately the truth is that Lady Gaga had taken seventy-five quid off each of them. That’s like saying to your boss “do you know what I hate more than bank holidays? An early finish on a Friday”

Then of course there were the costumes, some sexy, some weird, some looking like she should be on It’s a Knockout, all seeming to take ages to change into, whilst the audience were entertained by huge chunks of video. It felt a little like she was stringing the evening out, which, when you consider she’s only released one and a half albums, is hardly surprising.

It was a cynics paradise, like a Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory of things to mock and laugh at. There was just one problem…. I loved it. My paws were in the air like a good little monster whenever she told me to. I whooped and cheered when the piano burst into flames, I gasped in horror when the giant fish-monster came to life and I sang along to hits such as 'Poker-face', 'Telephone' and 'Paparazzi' like I was auditioning to be one of her backing singers- a job I’d love if you’re reading this Ms Gaga.

Yes, through all the long costume changes and ridiculous speeches the fact remains that this girl can’t half write a decent pop song. Not only that but she can deliver them well too. There’s no denying she’s super-talented. Best of all, she puts on a show; a thrilling, feast-for-the-eyes show.

Time will tell if Lady Gaga has the staying power of someone like Madonna, but if she keeps writing those fantastic songs and putting on these spectacular live shows, I reckon she’s going to make a lot of money….. which of course she’ll hate.

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