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Liverpool One opens its back yard

Gordo avoids the damp patch at Chavasse Park sneak preview

Written by . Published on September 18th 2008.


Liverpool One opens its back yard

LIVERPOOL One has given Gordo a sly little glimpse of its new backyard, Chavasse Park, but it was in the middle of a slight deluge.

Fortunately, at the time, Gordo happened to be knocking back a couple in his new favourite boozer, The Monro. Cracking place, nicely refurbished in a soft, gentle manner, with the same heroic upmarket pub grub. Go. It’s good.

Arriving at the designated area a little late, the rain had stopped and Gordo could clearly see some fab stuff. Canapés by the star chef, Paul Askew of The London Carriage Works, and Hilary Kinsella, all-round fit bird looking after the marketing of Liverpool One.

Gordo struggled to decide which to get stuck into first. The canapés won. Proper champagne an' all. Nothing wrong with this bash.

Ian Pollitt, from Peel Holdings and Gordo’s drinking pal, was there with his missus, the lovely Jane.

The nice people at Jaguar had parked a few new motors on the drive but wouldn’t let Gordo near them. Hilary kept sliding in and out of them all night. They looked good mind you. At one point they had started to look like your granddad's replacement for a Rover, but they are on top design form these days.

Gordo then spied the woman he loves above all others. Joanne Jennings, she of the great form, laughing eyes and expensive shoes. “Joanne! I have missed you darling,” greases Gordo. Joanne’s lovely lips started to work their magic.

“How lovely to see you!” says the Irish

filly. The green eyes said: “Who the bloody hell is this balding simpleton?”

Gordo, not to be put off by body language that would have warned Idi Amin to stay away, soldiered on. “Where are you going after this?” he ventured. “Erm, well, there is a party up at the Carriage Works”.

Hilary was glaring at him. Clearly, someone was irritating that little bundle of loveliness.

“Fab!” Gordo breezes, “I'll see you up there....” as Hilary and Joanne promptly vanish into the night.

Sometime later, Gordo was at the bar, having invested heavily in that chewing gum toothpaste stuff in the toilets of the Irish Pub up at the top of Seel Street, the one with the quaint name of ‘Kiss My Arse’ in Gaelic, a language not unknown to Gordo after a half bottle of Jamieson's and a few scoops of stout.

Joanne didn’t show. Gordo knows that it would be something pretty terrible to keep his true love away from him, at least a plane crash, so he consoled himself with taking a few snaps of girlies' shoes around the bar.

Liverpool girls still know how to get to a bloke's heart.

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14 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Catharine StreetSeptember 12th 2008.

Pity about the young couple having to wear NHS wigs. Fate can be cruel. He'd put a tie on and everything, which is more than most of the other 'men' bothered to do.

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

He's not balding.... he looks a bit like his initials might be W.B.?

Stirling Gill MossSeptember 12th 2008.

The new Ford Jaguar grill is hideous! The trademark Jaguar grill is oval, not old-man's-throat-lozenge-shaped!

Garden ForkSeptember 12th 2008.

Dig, we dug your Peat, no need to spell it out.

AnonymousSeptember 12th 2008.

Who is that bloke with the champagne in one hand and the canapé in the other?

Cosmo SmallpieceSeptember 12th 2008.

I like the look of those melons

Liverpool wigSeptember 12th 2008.

I don't think Pete Price wears an NHS hairpiece

MikeSeptember 12th 2008.

What? You think Gordo and Warren Bradley are the same person? What are you like in a picture quiz in the pub, anonymous?

DigSeptember 12th 2008.

Why so many pictures of feet? And who is the bloke 3rd pic down on left? I know his face. Oh it's ok. I know who he is.

Bill GSeptember 12th 2008.

Who let that scally in (left row, 3 down)?

DigSeptember 12th 2008.

Oh did you have to have Peat Price in the headline photo? You've totally spoiled this article now. I know how you spell Pete but I meant Peat as in decayed vegetation matter Price.

DigSeptember 12th 2008.

I have no sense of humus? I have never ever had anything so horrible said to me before. Where's that noose? I thought I was a much better person.

EveryoneSeptember 12th 2008.

Gordo.

T. RowelSeptember 12th 2008.

That Dig has no sense of humus, G.F.! he'd be much better off in a loam.

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