It's the weekend watch

It's the biggest paella in the world
Unless it's big, brassy and bold, you can forget it: food has to be rammed with flavour and pack a plate bigger than the moon to impress this happy eater.

Make mine a cosy sleeping bag and first place in the queue, then, at the Taste of Spain Festival on Williamson Square this Saturday. The biggest concoction of rice and all things nice ever seen in the North West is on the cards.

Flown in specially to make your eyes pop and bellies explode, Valencian chefs will throw together 50 kilos each of chicken and rice, with a not inconsiderable 45 kilos of veg. End result - a giant paella. Tucker's up at 2.30pm but there are plenty of hungry horses expected on the scene so get there early.

Spanish music and dancing, wine tasting and other jolly delights will help tear you away from your useless betting slips and a tarnished copy of the Racing Post. Not to be outdone by the Aintree affair, the festival features a draw to win tickets to the Horse Racing Global Champion Tour in Valencia, and you can even experience the sport of kings on a ride simulator.
Taste of Spain Festival, Williamson Square, L1.Saturday and Sunday, April 10 and 11.

WHAT A GOAL!
Radio 5 Live are in town all over the weekend. They say they are here for the gee-gees, but we all know they are doing a recce. The entire station is moving oop north to Salford next year and, over tin of John Smiths last night, they tell us there are plenty of takers for a life on the M62.

They have set up a broadcasting base camp at the LJMU faculty of Art and Design, just behind the Metropolitan Cathedral on Brownlow Hill, and all today and Saturday morning they are giving you and the kiddies a chance to be a proper football commentator.

Grown ups, you thought it was all over? It isn't yet.
Be a Radio 5 Live footy commentator, Friday 10am-6.45pm. 10am-1pm Sat, Liverpool John Moores University Art and Design Academy, Duckinfield St (Brownlow Hill).

You couldn't make it up...
Oh yes you could. Now and again you hear of events promising exquisite and profound enlightenment, with the sharp-

witted flair. Here we have a cast of recklessly talented board-treaders sufficiently wide-eyed to sustain a 33-and-a-half hours of dramatic improvisation experiment. 33.5 hours? That's 2010 minutes broken down into two-hour 'episodes', of wholly made-up comic drama, directed as it happens.

The Last Resort is an improvisational marathon set in the Great British Summer.

It’s the 1950s and Liverpool's premier holiday camp opens its doors for one weekend only where you can experience the delights of the entertainment staff, the highly dedicated maintenance staff and, of course, the amazing array of guests.

Leaving Pontins in Ainsdale aside, this is your only chance to feel the 'magic' of big-scale self-catering accommodation on Merseyside.

Thirty three-and-a-half hours eh? Evidently Red Bull is missing a sponsorship trick.

*The Last Resort - A 33½ Hour Improv Marathon! at The Kazimier, 4-5 Wolstenholme Square, L1. From 1pm Saturday 10th April until 10:30pm Sunday 11th April. Tickets from £5 to £25.

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Banging it out
Stallions of serendipity the Royal Bangs are on cue to wow the city crowds Friday at Korova on their much-vaunted debut UK tour.

Holding court at the Hope Street haunt are Dire Wolf, The Moguls, and Prison Area - 'sultans of dirty funk rock pop' they say, meaning perfect for you connoisseurs of chord-based carnage.
Royal Bangs and support, Korova, Hope Street, L1. Doors 8pm.

And we're (nearly) off!
How could we sign off without mentioning the John Smith's Grand National. You've probably missed Liverpool Day (Thursday April 8th) and a show-opener from maybe-MP-in-waiting Ricky Tomlinson.

Steeplechase Enclosure tickets priced at £18 are available on the gate for the main event on Saturday.
*John Smith's Grand National, Aintree Racecourse. Saturday 10th April.