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Fifth Liverpolitan Tweed Run

Maximum stylish, minimum exertion bike ride this weekend

Written by . Published on July 9th 2012.

Fifth Liverpolitan Tweed Run

NATURALLY,  it will be pouring with rain and there will be a howling wind but the Fifth Liverpolitan Tweed Run is to take place on Sunday 15th July.

The exact route of the latest minimum exertion, maximum elegance jaunt has yet to be confirmed but it will roughly follow that of the Second Liverpolitan Tweed Run of 17th July last year, taking in the river to the south of the Pier Head and Sefton Park.

Hats are to be doffed, even to onrushing,
stony-faced yahoos in plastic helmets
as they illegally barge along pedestian
pavements and tear through red traffic lights!

Readers might remember how that run was cut short owing to heavy rain and strength-sapping wind.

"With luck," say organisers, "we hope to follow more of the original route, adapt it to take in the new park on the site of the former Festival Gardens, take in more of the picturesque, partake of refreshments, proceed majestically about town and finish at the agreeable Camp & Furnace in Greenland Street.

"This is not only a splendid place of refreshment which welcomes bicyclists, it is handy for Brunswick Station for those taking the train home for whom the current closure of Central Station is an inconvenience."

The usual regulations apply: no rubber pants or Lycra, the recommended helmets for this jaunt are the deerstalker, the pith and the Pickelhaube.

The recommended caps are the flat cap, the smoking cap and the fez. Gentlemen's knees must be covered at all times, preferably with stout tweed.

It is not necessary to own some expensive museum-piece to participate, they say. Neither is it necessary to own a bespoke Harris Tweed outfit.

"The point here is to enter into the spirit of the event. It is a bicycle outing for ladies and gentlemen who find plastic helmets, the ‘mountain bike mentality’ and gaudy Lycra distasteful and intimidating. Natural fibres are best and tweed is best of all.

"Our progress is to be dignified, elegant and convivial. Hats are to be doffed, even to onrushing, stony-faced yahoos in plastic helmets as they illegally barge along pedestian pavements and tear through red traffic lights!"

Turn up at the Pier Head at 11am with your bicycle, a suitable tweed-accented cycling outfit and an affable disposition.

You will require pocket money for refreshments and it is recommended that you bring a lock for your machine just in case it is required. A small picnic is usual on these occasions, though getting the chance to eat it is dependent upon the weather!

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27 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

AnonymousJuly 9th 2012.

I saw a fine looking chap yesterday in tweed and red hosiery, bicycling along Otterspool prom by the festival gardens. He stood out amongst the speeding yahoo's, now I know what he was up to, a reccy of the route perchance. Tootle pip!

1 Response: Reply To This...
MycroftJuly 15th 2012.

I suspect that was me!

Angie Sammons shared this on Facebook on July 9th 2012.
Darth FormbyJuly 10th 2012.

This looks like it could be a rather jolly wheeze. I own a moleskin suit, which I think should be acceptable, a tweed cap, and some very respectable brogues, but my only velocipede happens to be a Carrera Vulcan, from Halfords. I wouldn't want to risk a debagging.

2 Responses: Reply To This...
SpokesmanJuly 13th 2012.

Fear not, sir! All are welcome, particularly if you smoke a pipe and play the accordion. Even children.

SpokesmanJuly 17th 2012.

Or indeed smoke rollies in the Camp & Furnace!

Prof. ChucklebuttyJuly 10th 2012.

Must have been a bleedin' big mole Mr Formby!

Darth FormbyJuly 10th 2012.

Lots of little baby ones, prof!

1 Response: Reply To This...
Prof. ChucklebuttyJuly 10th 2012.

That's a relief, the last thing we need is 6 foot moles riding along the pavements on their way to busking outside Primark.

Prof. ChucklebuttyJuly 10th 2012.

That's a relief, the last thing we need is 6 foot moles riding along the pavements on their way to busking outside Primark.

1 Response: Reply To This...
Prof. ChucklebuttyJuly 11th 2012.

You've already said that, you fool!

Duchess of PlinthJuly 10th 2012.

My buttocks are clenched in readiness!!

1 Response: Reply To This...
The Plinth of DarknessJuly 13th 2012.

As are my fangs

Darth FormbyJuly 10th 2012.

Ike says to Mike
Can your mother ride a bike
With her feet on the handlebars?

With her arm in a sling
and the seat.....

If anyone knows the rest of this I'll buy them a pint of Babycham.

3 Responses: Reply To This...
MusicologistJuly 13th 2012.

Is this to the same tune as:
'Old King Cole stuck a penny up his hole,
'Cos he wanted a ha'penny change'?

MusicologistJuly 13th 2012.

Or indeed the song about Bollocky Bill who went over the hill to play a game of cricket?

Darth FormbyJuly 14th 2012.

You are on exactly the right lines.

Absinthe & TurksJuly 10th 2012.

I was thinking of the mole on Anita Harris.

And my, does she have a neater Aris!

AnonymousJuly 11th 2012.

Her spots did ming
But boy she could sing
And they flocked to see her - from Paris

Patricia O'neill shared this on Facebook on July 11th 2012.
The Urbane CyclistJuly 12th 2012.

See sites.google.com/site/liverpolitantweed5/home… for further details.

SpokesmanJuly 13th 2012.


Darth FormbyJuly 13th 2012.

Wrong, I'm afraid anon. No babycham for you!

Sturmey ArcherJuly 13th 2012.

So do you think you'll be having a good pump and getting your leg over on Sunday then, Darth?


1 Response: Reply To This...
Darth FormbyJuly 14th 2012.

Bravo Sturmey! The little jump towards the end makes it even better! I don't know if I'll be turning up tomorrow. I'm feeling a little tired and emotional on account of a Thursday/Friday night rollover overhang.

Plinth of DarknessJuly 13th 2012.

One for the R.C. readers...

Plinth of DarknessJuly 13th 2012.

Sorry, that ought t have been this one:

Flipping Youth Tube and its silly playlists.

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