Fifth Liverpolitan Tweed Run

NATURALLY,  it will be pouring with rain and there will be a howling wind but the Fifth Liverpolitan Tweed Run is to take place on Sunday 15th July.

The exact route of the latest minimum exertion, maximum elegance jaunt has yet to be confirmed but it will roughly follow that of the Second Liverpolitan Tweed Run of 17th July last year, taking in the river to the south of the Pier Head and Sefton Park.

Hats are to be doffed, even to onrushing,
stony-faced yahoos in plastic helmets
as they illegally barge along pedestian
pavements and tear through red traffic lights!

Readers might remember how that run was cut short owing to heavy rain and strength-sapping wind.

"With luck," say organisers, "we hope to follow more of the original route, adapt it to take in the new park on the site of the former Festival Gardens, take in more of the picturesque, partake of refreshments, proceed majestically about town and finish at the agreeable Camp & Furnace in Greenland Street.

"This is not only a splendid place of refreshment which welcomes bicyclists, it is handy for Brunswick Station for those taking the train home for whom the current closure of Central Station is an inconvenience."

The usual regulations apply: no rubber pants or Lycra, the recommended helmets for this jaunt are the deerstalker, the pith and the Pickelhaube.

The recommended caps are the flat cap, the smoking cap and the fez. Gentlemen's knees must be covered at all times, preferably with stout tweed.

It is not necessary to own some expensive museum-piece to participate, they say. Neither is it necessary to own a bespoke Harris Tweed outfit.

"The point here is to enter into the spirit of the event. It is a bicycle outing for ladies and gentlemen who find plastic helmets, the ‘mountain bike mentality’ and gaudy Lycra distasteful and intimidating. Natural fibres are best and tweed is best of all.

"Our progress is to be dignified, elegant and convivial. Hats are to be doffed, even to onrushing, stony-faced yahoos in plastic helmets as they illegally barge along pedestian pavements and tear through red traffic lights!"

Turn up at the Pier Head at 11am with your bicycle, a suitable tweed-accented cycling outfit and an affable disposition.

You will require pocket money for refreshments and it is recommended that you bring a lock for your machine just in case it is required. A small picnic is usual on these occasions, though getting the chance to eat it is dependent upon the weather!